Behind The Iron Curtain...Roundup

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that my little doggy is with Jesus now. Yep. Its true. Jesus and his wife Juanita. They're good neighbors...keep to themselves mostly and watch the dog occasionally. I say its with a heavy heart cuz I miss her, but I'll get her back later tonight. Anyway, welcome to the best blog on the net that no one reads. Your awesome entries makes it the best blog on the net, while crap jokes like that makes it so no one reads it. And the only people who comment wants to sell us Canadian Viagra or spam us with photos of girls gone completely wild. While the two compliment each other, (think about it)they have no business here. So I dare you chumps to leave a comment that is actually relative to what we're doing. Prove to us that you read the damned thing. Here's a starting topic, this month we go Behind The Iron Curtain in a roundup all about cars, trucks, or bikes from Communist countries. Including all of the former Communist regimes, the list spans about 30 nations with some interesting automotive possibilities. Lets show ya what I mean, shall we?

Poland is the number one manufacturer of heavy industrial equipment, Polish kielbasa, Polish jokes...and the Polonez. This particular one built by Dohoon Kim is the strato-polonez awesomest rally car ever. Lest you had any doubts, its a real car located in a Warsaw Museum under some shabby apartment. Cuz that's how museums are in Warsaw.



You know who belongs in a museum? Peter Blackert;our newest admin. He probably should be in the Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum for being a freak of nature. No, he doesn't have two heads and doesn't resemble a wolfman...but he has built something like 22,000 LEGO cars in his life. Adding to that heap is his first of many entries, a '69 Dacia 1300 from Romania.



Next he shows us how the Communist Eastern Block does luxury automobiles with this '68 Tatra T2-603 from Czechoslovakia. This rear engined hunk of steel is all dolled up in Prague Taxi livery. Speaking of which, I'm all dolled up in Prague taxi livery now. Yep. And a pair of sensible pumps.



So what the heck is so Communistic about a Ford Escort? Well, this 2013 Shanghai Concept revealed in China puts the "U" in "you go, comrade!" Wait, that didn't make any sense at all. But what makes good sense is Ford's idea to open the market to the world's leading auto manufacturer. So instead of the...uh...Dongfeng Succe or the Haima Freema being the top selling cars in the world, why not make it an Escort?



Why not Zoidberg! Wait, never mind. Make sure your solar powered flashlights are charged to see this Polish FSO-125P...or Polish Fiat. That was a Polish joke. Cuz didn't the Polish invent the solar powered flashlight? No? Or what about an ejection seat for a helicopter? No? OK, lets move on then.



If there's only one thing I know, its Germans love David Hasselhoff. They're also rather fond of the Trabant 601 Limousine as built by Peter, seen here posed in front of the majestic Brandenburg Gates. Are you hooked on a feeling? Eh, I'm more into Rammstein anyway.



Lets say you're Czechoslovakian and you want to feel the wind through your greasy hair as you head down to the local eatery for a Svickova knedlik. What to do? I strongly recommend doing it in this 1959 Skoda Felicia Convertible. I'd also strongly recommend staying away from the pork schnitzel.



The former U.S.S.R. is a vast, cold land that is hard to conquer on the Risk map and where there are bears big enough to crush your head. Also the women there have stout ankles, uni-brows, and hands strong enough to crush a bear. They also have the Lada Niva.



When not busy crushing bears and enduring the onslaught of cold winters and Risk game pieces trying to invade, the Russian Police have the Moscow Traffic Police Lada 110, as built by Ralph Savelsberg, for when the locals go bolshevik on our asses.



In Soviet Russia, everything does things to you. For example, vodka drinks you, radish eats you and motorcycle rides you. It also helps if you say it in a bad Russian accent. My case in point, this olive green Ural military bike with side car, as built by Lino Martins, will surely ride you.



With all this Russian stuff, I can imagine the only people keywording and commenting on this blog will leave links for Russian mail order brides...and they're just the thing for keeping you safe from bears at night. That's why I wonder what would happen if anyone keyworded this Polish FSR Tarpan 239D as built by Ciezarowkaz.



If you've read any Russian literature at all, you'd know that no one suffers like the Russians, and no stranger to suffering under the strong hands of a Russian mail order bride is Tim Inman. At least they can suffer in style as he built Natasha a ZIS 110 limousine. Sweet!



Dornbi has been following this fine group for quite some time now. He hasn't chimed in much, but this Behind The Iron Curtain challenge made him change his mind with this Trabant 601S...although he admits it has that not-so-fresh feeling.



But I'm presuming stale Trabant would bring anyone into this car club. Can you smell the excitement? Or is that goat cheese? Anyway,second on the Dornbi slab is one of the most well-known export products of Hungary during the 80s. And no, I don't mean glam-rock. I mean an Ikarus 260 bus.



Some guy takes a break from his Bad Furday (hah! I never get tired of that joke!) to build us a
Chinese FAW CA1010 mini truck. Cuz the Chinese are the world's leading automobile manufacturers. Apparently. Yep. Forget Ford, Chevy, or even Toyota. FAW is where the action is.



We have a proud Latvian in our ranks and his name is Rolic. So naturally he would build a minibus RAF-2203...better known as a Latvian. And it just so happens to be adorned in the color scheme of the Latvian flag. There's only one Latvian phrase I need to know...Vai jums ir alkohols?



It turns out we have a few LUGNuts who live in countries that have spent some time or another behind the Iron Curtain. Take Raphy for example. He's Polish and he's proud. This time he teams up with Peter to build another Fiat 125P...this one a wagon with sticker bombs. Just as I spent my childhood in the backseat of a Pinto, Raphy has fond boyhood memories of this baby.



Is that all of them? I think it is. Now we wait for the unrelated comments to roll in about Russian mail order brides, Canadian Viagra and car dealerships. Or maybe my little dare at the beginning will generate some good pertinent comments about LEGO or Communist automotives. I doubt it though. In the meantime, we have a new build challenge this month called May The Force Be With You...all about terrestrial vehicles inspired by Star Wars spaceships. Its best if you imagine what it would be like if the story took place on Earth. How do we do this? Well, perhaps an X-Wing is sort of shaped like a 60's era dragster. Give it a white and red color scheme with a little bit of grey greebling and you've nailed it. Maybe a Jawa Sandcrawler can be a DAF Paris-Dakar racer...and maybe a beat up green, grey and brown Dodge van might be slightly reminiscent of the Slave I. Either way, the stars are the limit when you build Star Wars related vehicles. So let's get building already! Also, I'd say we put Jar-Jar Binks in a helicopter. The one with the ejection seat, of course.