Our 71st build challenge is called Super 70's Sensation...all about cars trucks and bikes of the 70's. I was born in September of 1971 and I am now 42, which if you've read your Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy you'd know 42 is the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything. 71st challenge...September...42...can you see where I'm going with this? This challenge was meant to be. Since this is such a mystical challenge for me, I told our LUGNuts members that they'd get extra kudos if they somehow made their entries all about me. I am, after all, as rare a bird as a sober Irishman who dislikes potatoes. Whoa, Lino! That was culturally insensitive, even for you. What gives? Early this month, I attended BrickCon and played Cards Against Humanity for the first time ever. Lets just say it was a gut-ripping laugh out loud riot. So for this roundup, I figured I'd share some of the game play with you all. This means I'm gonna try to be a little dirtier than usual. So if you're a kid or someone with good, wholesome sensibilities, get the hell off my lawn! You've been warned, you wimps! So how did we do? Lets take a look, shall we.
Dohoon Kim starts us off with a 1972 Rolls-Royce Corniche. Wait...this much class so early in the challenge takes the wind out of my sails. I don't even have a good excuse to segue into jokes about firing a shotgun into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog. If this were a pickup truck, sure...but a Rolls. Sheesh!
No stranger to being balls deep in anything is this little 70's era side burns minifig Unimog driver guy as built by Nolnet. That guy has super 70's sensation written all over him! Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? That 70's guy!Ya damn right!
Ralph Savelsberg made his entry all about me...sort of...with the Reliant regal Supervan used in the British comedy 'Only Fools and Horses'. I know nothing of the reference, but Ralph says it's not regal, it's not super and it's far from sensational, but they did use a 71 model. So kudos!
Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man? Peter "Lego911" Blackert!Can you dig it? He's made the BMW M1 Supercar from 1976 y'all. It was a good time, '76. Every woman was braless but I was too young to appreciate it. By the time I went out to discover the world it was well into the ultra-conservative 80's and the sexual revolution was over the minute I graduated high school. Damn you, Ronald Reagan!
Lego911 chimes in again with one of the most successful cars of all time. The '71 Caddy Eldorado? No, hardly!The Volkswagen Golf Mk1, launched in 1974, shown here in red as the '76 GTI hot hatch model.
Next he shows us the 1974 hatch in green with boards on the roof, which incidentally was his favorite Matchbox car growing up. Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about?SHAFT!Right On!
Launched in 1970, the GS represented Citroen's entry in the small car market segment. They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother...SHUT YOUR MOUTH!Baby, I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft. Can you dig it? Which is all the more funnier as Shaft would never be caught dead in a Citroen.
Alright, enough with the Shaft jokes! Peter chimes in yet again, this time with the British Leyland Special Division Project #1:The Rover SD1 3500 from 1976. I've got nothing...cuz cracking jokes about my dong stuck in a set of Chinese finger cuffs with another dong would just not make any sense at all.
What's the next Happy meal Toy? This 1971 Mazda RX3 Coupe in super 70's lime green! Actually it isn't. The next Happy Meal toy is your choice of Another Goddamned Vampire Movie, Crystal Meth, or 8oz of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.
See, that's how the game is played, whether is be Harry Potter erotica or dick skinners, you just never know what to predict. Just like we didn't predict this 1970 Alfa Romeo Montreal would be next on the Peter slab.
However we could totally predict he'd build a 70's era Porsche 911, I mean it's in his name for God sakes! Peter tells us..."Famous for the whale-tail and the wide hips, Porsche's answer to the 1970's supercar formula, the 911 Turbo, internally coded Type 930". Funny, when I google image "wide hips and whale tail, that is not what comes up.
What did the US airdrop to the children in Afghanistan? Bananas in Pajamas? Robo Cop? Special musical guest Cher? The true meaning of Christmas? No, it was this Ferrari 308 GTB Berlinetta.
What are my parents hiding from me? Is it MechaHitler? An erection lasting more than four hours? Is it a Super-Soaker full of cat pee? Tentacle porn? No, just the 1975 Jaguar XJS V12 Coupe.
What do old people smell like? Bad life choices? Neil Patrick Harris? Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still beating heart? No. Turns out they smell like a 1972 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser Wagon.
What do white people like? Is it sexy pillow fights? Full frontal nudity? Sarah Palin? The blood of Christ? No, turns out its the 1970 Ford Mustang Milano Concept.
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you...Edible underpants? A windmill full of corpses? Children on leashes? A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw? No, turns out the correct answer is the 1971 Maserati Bora in tan.
Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? Lino, you said there would be no more Shaft jokes! But, but, but...wait,this one finally makes sense! Originally inspired by Shaft, Peter recreates a Lino classic; this '71 Caddy Eldorado called Blue Voodoo, complete with Downtown Action Brown and his best girl, Afro-Dite.
Just wait for the complaints to roll in, Peter! And speaking of sex machine with the chicks, in the sense that he has to pay for it, Tim Inman chimes in with a Triumph TR6 club racer. I saw this at BrickCon and it was most impressive. Tim played Cards Against Humanity with us so he knows all about being balls deep in a squealing hog.
Last on the Super 70's slab is Lino Martins with my '71 Chevelle SS Wagon called Plum Noir. Part muscle car, part station wagon, and all dark and brooding with a bit of attitude, this classic is truly all about me. I tried to be original with the name but then I realized Plum Noir is a nail polish color, which, now that I think about it, makes it totally gay!
And this is why my dad worried about me. Is that all of them? Yep, I think it was. Like most first dates,this roundup started off classy and ended with something big, black and purple in your mouth. What does that mean? I have no idea. But how did you like me interspersing Cards Against Humanity quips in with my usual write up? I think they were indistinguishable from my own brand of sardonic slander, proving once and for all, that I could have been a writer for the game and made millions of dollars already. Turns out I ain't makin' nuttin' pandering to the eight of you! This blog has only eight followers, in case you didn't know. Let's see if we can gain just one more by next challenge round up. So what will the next challenge be about? Stephen Hawking talking dirty? A cartoon camel enjoying the smooth, refreshing taste of a cigarette? Vigorous jazz hands? Being a dick to children? No...while these are all fascinating ideas,turns out the next build challenge is called LUGNuts Sixth Anniversary. As with all birthday challenges, you can relive any of the challenges from the previous year and indeed all of LUGNuts history! Its pretty much your free ticket to do whatever the hell you want...including, I suppose, being a dick to children, if that's what floats your boat. Join us next month, same bat time, same bat channel to see how we pull it off. And by pulling it off, I mean the Chinese finger cuffs stuck to my wang. Tootles!