Monday, February 13, 2012
Here is a little tidbit that was said about one of my art pieces recently. “...The cover has the semi-overt racism down pat with the evil yet sexualised 'oriental' traumatising the good white folks. Which fits the era it's based on perfectly. Unfortunately it's no longer that era and it comes across as more than a little sinister...”
Boy, that person could have benefitted from spell check...but that still hits ya right in the breadbasket, doesn’t it? Then I went on to read some of my past roundups and found crude jokes about taking the browns to the super bowl and awkward father-son talks about how my mom used to have a hot ass but now has an ass like a bag of wet clothes. Where do I get this stuff? Gosh darn it, I’m just a seething cauldron of angst, aren’t I? No wonder I hardly ever make Brothers Brick! So that is why for this round up for a challenge called Batmobile: 2025, I am turning over a new leaf. Yes sir, you will witness a softer, gentler Lino...one who doesn’t crack jokes about grown-ass men playing with legos. I’m gonna turn this frown upside-down and from now on its gonna be sunshine and rainbows. That’s right, no more being a Negative Nancy...think Bob Ross but with facial hair. Well, he already had facial hair, but you know what I’m saying...happy trees all the way, man...happy trees. Lets show ya what I mean, shall we?
Here’s the premise: Its the year 2025 and young Raphy grows up to be a movie director. He needs a team of designers to completely reinvent the Batmobile for a new Batman trilogy and low and behold Peteris Sprogis is the first to step up to the plate with this futuristic design. Boy, ain’t that just a little slice of heaven, right there?
Later in the challenge, Peteris comes back with a new creation that says...hey, I’m Batman’s new ride, how do you do? By now the old Lino would have cracked some quip about drinking Three-Peckered Billy Goat coffee but the new Lino says “good day, sir” to your evil three-peckered ways. I drink soy milk now.
Sharpspeed tells us The Penguin did a number on Batman’s first ride so a newer, better one had to be built and the result...is as dreamy as cookies and milk with a beefy V-8 engine. No, wait, Sharpy tells us V-6. Why would Batman go from a jet engine to a V-6? It doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you want in your world. There are no mistakes in your world, only happy little trees.
In Sharpspeed’s world, Batman’s boy chum Robin needs a sweet set of wheels too...in this case a high powered Dune Hopper for all those...you know...sand dunes that Gotham City has. Its like sunshine on four wheels and Santa Claus is driving!
How are you liking the new Lino? Its like a big hug from grandpa while listening to an easy listening station, right? Nathan Proudlove’s version of the Batmobile is a lot like that too. With the new Lino, no one is telling you to shut your damned puke holes, because you’re not puking, by golly!
And God bless you if you are. Its just the Good Lord’s way of saying you drink too much, you silly-billy...or you ate too many hot dogs, sonny boy...or whatever it is you do that makes you upchuck. You know what doesn’t make me upchuck? This weapon-laden black and blue Batmobile as built by Gilcellio Chagas. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy like a blanket made of puppies.
Ok, maybe that wasn’t the best warm/ fuzzy analogy. I’m rather new at this turning over a new leaf stuff. But what isn’t so warm and fuzzy is this second entry by Gilcellio...a romp ‘em, stomp ‘em icy vehicle for Mr. Freeze. Isn’t that just as sweet as molasses? Frozen molasses, but molasses none the less.
You know what I like more than happy little trees? This...um...S shaped Batmobile built by lsgc. You know, Batman doesn’t believe in guns so he wouldn’t know what to make of the two big honkin’ cannons up front but there’s no mistakes in your world. Only happy little accidents. Yeah.
So you take your canvas here. Take some Midnight Black, some Cadmium Yellow and just a touch of Alizarin Crimson and sort of combine the Batmobile and the Weinermobile and you’ve got yourself this first entry by Shannon Ocean. Boy, look at that alternate reality Batman in his cape and fedora! Its like a party in my mouth and everyone is hiccuping.
Wait, that didn’t make sense. Ok, lets see if I can come up with some better happy analogies for this second entry. With its sleek shape and cool non-LEGO additions its like that song We Are The World where LEGO pieces and Dr. Who pieces meld together in perfect harmony. And check out the Afro-American Batman in a phat cybersuit. You can do that in your world.
And just to show that he’s in it for the long haul, Shannon whips up a third entry. The Batmobile challenge brought Shannon to LUGNuts and so far he’s doing A-OK. If he knew I had such a potty mouth he’d bounce right back out of here...but its gonna be sunshine and rainbows from now on. And happy little trees.
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Doesn’t matter, does it? That particular punch line is certainly nothing suitable for tender young ears, so forget it! The old Lino would have chuckled about it anyway but the new Lino...he’s all about hallmark cards and kittens. But check out my version of the Batmobile...all red and Art Deco-y. And there’s Robin on his bike here to say howdy do. Maybe they’ll take the Bat-truck out for a picnic.
Bad Furday takes a break from his...um...Bad Furday to build this NASCAR looking ride with a bat shape up front. I know, I use that joke every time. But what else can I say when you’re name is bad furday? Well, that bat emblem is as sweet as Apple Pie. Speaking of which, where did that kid go anyway?
In spite of being a Legohaulic, Tyler doesn’t visit our LUGNuts challenges much. But, like many other outsiders he couldn’t resist this challenge so he took a page from the Tim Burton’s Batman as this Batmobile lights up like a Christmas tree. Heck, its lights up like a whole Christmas village! Neat shaping on this one.
Also with a neat shape is this entry by JayTheRobot. In the not too distant future it turns out the Batman movies are taking a turn back to the retro campy style of the 60’s. Its blue, yellow, and neon green palate are one of the stranger color schemes we’ve seen yet but as Bob Ross and the new nicer Lino says...you can do anything in your world.
That anything in your world could also include a boxy haphazard Batmobile with a yellow and black Blacktron inspired color scheme as built by Kiss@flick. Another newbie brought in by this challenge, the old Lino would have cracked some joke about punching Howie Mandell in the face right about now! But not the new Lino.
You’ve all heard of Rat Fink, right? Well here is Ace’s Bat Fink. Turns out gool ‘ol Batman drives a thugged out hot rod. Makes perfect sense to me, every Batmobile so far has been like a hot rod in a way.
This black and blue Batmobile built by Christophbrill is the bees knees. Its like a hug from grandpa while he’s wearing a soft puppy skin coat. Wait, that turned out all weird. Gosh, I really have a lot of getting used to with this turning over a new leaf thing. Being kinder and gentler is way harder than I thought.
Channel Bob Ross! Channel Bob Ross! Happy little trees. Yeah...ok, I got it. There’s no need to crack jokes about Raphy’s entry clocking in past the due date like spoiled milk. That’s because soy milk already tastes spoiled right from the get go. But this entry is baaaadasss. Um...I mean good-ass! Good-ass! Phew, I almost reverted back!
Damn, this Three-Peckered Billy Goat coffee is good! I mean...no it isn’t! I’m not drinking three-peckered billy goat coffee so don’t get that idea in your heads! I’m drinking...uh...rainbow...puppy juice. This surf inspired Bat-Wagon by DocktorZapp is really, really awesome. C’mon Lino, you can do this!
He’s not even a real doctor! Ok, it doesn’t matter. Just move on! Erth&Fiya renders the futuristic Batmobile like no one else...he uses some magic sticker techno-fritz that looks like carbon fiber and he has all of us scratching our noggins over how he built the wheels. Chock full of awesome, dude!
cjedwards47 finishes us off and leaves a nice taste in our mouths with this futuristic design. He’s another newbie to LUGNuts brought in by this challenge and from the looks of things, I hope he sticks around. Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts! Sunshine! Rainbows! Puppies!
Kittens! Leprechauns! Snuggly blankets! (CRASH! BANG! POW! ZING!) Prank calls! Creepy grandpas! Scary clowns! Holy crappy pants, Batman! I just reverted back! Sorry guys, but I think you like the old me better, anyway. You know, I’m not going to let some comment about my art knock me down. I’m gonna be as badass as I wannabe...because no matter what, you can’t change me. I suggest none of you change either...unless said change involves being more badass...more rock n’ roll...then in that case, change is good. Ok, you ingrates, let’s see how badass you wannabe with this month’s challenge called 52 Pickup...all about playing cards and card games. You can build pretty much any badass custom ride you want...call it Blackjack or King of Diamonds or One Eyed Jack and all is good. So stay tuned to see how this card inspired challenge plays out. See what I did there? Oh, and...what did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip. HAH! Keep the tip! I can’t believe how funny I am! Look, actually, that joke was told to me by my dad and look how I turned out. Pretty good, right? I mean I do have animal skulls in my home and creepy shrunken heads but otherwise I turned out alright. Didn’t I? Right? Guys?
Posted by Lino M