Saturday, February 21, 2015

A Tale Of Two Rivals Roundup

There are some famous rivals in this world: Coke vs. Pepsi. Democrats vs. Republicans. Thomas Edison vs. Nicola Tesla. Lindsay Lohan vs. Sobriety. Bruce Jenner vs....his identity. So many rivalries...so many conflicts. Without them we'd have no wars or lawsuits...and lions and zebras would coexist in peace, drinking side-by-side at the same water hole and probably inviting each other over for tea and crumpets or something. As enticing as all those John Lennon songs may be, we simply cannot live in a world without conflict, without rivals...its just wired into our primal core. Adding to the heap, are two fictional rival car clubs in a little roundup for a challenge we call A Tale of Two Rivals. Both are equally as awesome, but The Eastern Rebels use a dark gray, black and yellow color scheme while The Western Outlaws use tan, black, and red. How did they do? I think it'll be almost as compelling at the famous rivalry between Britney Spears and her missing panties, except without all the blurred photos. So sit back, pour yourself a vodka tonic, and stop looking at milfs in yoga pants for five goddamned minutes and enjoy our non-blurred, non-pixelated roundup.

 Veeborg muscles in early with a quick right hook and this 1935 Auburn 851SC Boattail Speedster, thereby making The Western Outlaws look pretty darned good right now.

Auburn front views

Without a rebel in sight, The Western Outlaws deliver a left jab and another powerful right hook with the first of many entries by Peter Blackert, this one a Typ-939 Alfa Romeo Spider. This looks deadly! Where are the Rebels? I haven't seen an early defeat like this since 9AM this morning when I said to hell with my diet and had a glazed donut!

Alfa Romeo Typ-939 Spider (Redback)

But wait, the Eastern Rebels are in the running! They come in with a powerful left hook and two quick right jabs with this 2015 Ford GT Supercar Concept Racer Edition. Other customizing houses are sure to follow in releasing their own 'enhanced' GT Supercars, but the Eastern Rebels can say they did it first!

GT Concept Racer - 2015 (Eastern Rebels Custom)

Proving he doesn't play favorites, Peter comes back with a track-focused edition of the wildest V12-engined Ferrari yet, a 2014-reveal Ferrari LaFerrari FXX K for the Outlaws. This rivalry is proving to be as epic a battle as that movie Alien Vs. Predator.

Ferrari LaFerrari FXX K (abu Dhabi 2014)

Coming in like an acid spitting raging bull, Lino Martins drops in with the meanest, craziest vintage salt flat racer you'll ever see...a '56 Ford Wagon Drag Racer called "Double-Trouble" with Eastern Rebel colors and with not one, but two supercharged eight cylinder engines!

1956 Ford…Double-Trouble

Not to be outdone, Peter comes back and sinks his claws in deep as part of a buddy team challenge with Lino with this two-engined, Western Outlaw counterpart, a 1958 Ford Ranchero Coupe-Utility appropriately called "Loaded Weapon"!

Ford 1958 Ranchero Twin-engined Custom (Loaded Weapon)

Peter shows us that sometimes the biggest guns come in the littlest packages. This Western Outlaw Mini Cooper sure packs a punch, just like Ike Turner! Yikes, that was rude, even for me! Sorry, Tina. Love ya, baby.

Mini - Western Outlaws (New Mini Mk III - 2015)

Seems Tina has got some sass of her own with a dizzying bitchslap across Ike's smug mug in the form of this Peter-built Mercedes-Benz W176 A 250 Sport all done up in Eastern Rebels dark gray, yellow and black.

Mercedes-Benz A 250 Sport (Eastern Rebels Custom - 2015)

And just to make sure Ike got the message through his thick skull, Tina (and Peter) comes back with a walloping haymaker and another victory for the Rebels in the form of this 2014 Chevy Corvette C7.R racer.

Chevrolet Corvette C7.R Racer

 Not to be outdone, the Outlaws come back with a 2014 Dodge SRT Viper GTS-R. Wow, I haven't seen family abuse like this since the Manson family! What? Too soon?

Dodge SRT Viper GTS-R Racer (2014 - Western Outlaws)

 And speaking of murderous rampage, The Outlaws drop another A-Bomb with this fictional 2015 Ford Falcon GT-X. This battle is as bloody as when the Romans unleashed lions on the Christians. What? Too soon? Do the Rebels even have a chance?

Ford FGX Falcon GT-X (2015)

Turns out they do! With a flare for rivalry and theatrics, Peter pounds out a left hook and a powerful uppercut with the other Australian champion car, this 2015 Holden HSV GTS for the Rebels. I am dizzy from all this fighting, and so is Peter. He is done and down for the count.

HSV GTS (2015 - Eastern Rebels)

But it seems there are some other LUGNuts chock full of piss and vinegar and raring to go! Chrisbuilds packs a dizzying wallop, another for the Rebels, this time in the form of a '41 Show Rod on a turntable. Consider me breathless!

'41 Show-Rod

Chris tags Tim Inman into the ring and he comes out swinging with a 1953 Dodge Power Wagon with Willock Swivel Frame. A rare beast indeed and it marks a third victory in a row for the rebels. Do we have a knockout?

1953 Dodge Power Wagon with Willock Swivel Frame

Not just yet! Vinny Turbo proves the Outlaws still have a little fight left with this cute little VTS Edge. Its like they let loose a little firecracker into the ring.

https://flic.kr/p/qFP6GZ

Little firecracker to be followed by an atom bomb for the Outlaws. They and Vinny Turbo are back in this fight with this stunning  Netherlands made Donkervoort S8A, refurbished into something called a W.Ows H7O Hyper Seven Orgasmo. I'm pretty sure I just had a hyper seven orgasmo!

https://flic.kr/p/q8r8Us

Yeah, inevitable joke. Two weeks late for the party but still pretty awesome is this one last jab by the Eastern Rebels in the form of this Coyote Hot Rod built by Zenn. Sometimes that bomb goes off a little later than expected and takes the opposing team out by surprise.

https://flic.kr/p/qda3uF

That is the end of our epic rivalry and the end of our roundup. How did our two teams do? Well, if you went by the amount of entries alone and count them as punches...I checked the stats. I checked them twice. Even checked them thrice. Outlaws 9 entries. Rebels 8. The Western Outlaws have won this fight by one punch! Bet you didn't know this was gonna be a contest. It wasn't originally but I couldn't resist tallying them up. Now you can go back to looking at milfs in yoga pants. I know, I know, five minutes without them was pure hell. And while you're at it, you might want to check out our new challenge called Let's Break Some Records. Whether yours be the world's longest limousine or the best selling truck in the Philippines, this challenge is all about record breaking vehicles. Expect the roundup to be chock full of record breaking bad jokes. See ya then. Until next time, get the hell off my lawn! Except you milfs...you can stay.








Friday, January 30, 2015

Steampunk Motorworks Roundup

MAD magazine affectionately calls their staff, "The Usual Gang of Idiots". We have our own usual gang of idiots...me, Tim, Ralph, Peter, Raphy, Sam...sometimes Nathan...and all eight of our followers...all a bunch of regular idiots with nothing better to do but to hang around here, build cars (sometimes) and maybe laugh at a few of my dumb jokes. Then I had a brilliant idea...or so it seemed at the time. My friend, silent LUGNut, and all around steamy load, Guy Himber just wrote a book on Steampunk LEGO. If I had a challenge tie-in called Steampunk Motorworks, his influence would bring in...an unusual gang of idiots...and then we all bask in the fame, glory, and sex that only Steampunk can bring! Sounds great, right? How'd that go? Still awaiting the fame, glory, and sex...but we did succeed in bringing in a couple of new and unusual idiots. Will they stick around? If they prove to be one-trick ponies and/or read this roundup, then probably not. As an added bonus, since Steampunk is such a steamy endeavor, I will write this roundup in the style of a bad erotic novelist. I can't see how that can go wrong! So pour yourself a Buttery Nipple, fetch yourself a soft and clean sock (you'll thank me later!) and prepare to have yourself blown. Your minds, that is. Minds blown. Not...never mind.

Peteris Sprogis rings our doorbell early and inserts his throbbing manhood into our firm, yet yielding challenge in the form of this hot and steamy Riga Steam.Works Machine1. It is apparently the very thing that all the Latvian ladies dream about as evidenced by its rather phallic shape. Soak it in, Latvian ladies!

Riga.Steam.Works- MACHINE_1

Over to Germany where they know all about pleasing the ladies with quick and concise German efficiency, Pascal asks the steamy question...What is better than one boiler? Two. Indeed. He answered his own question. Told ya Germans were efficient. Check out the hot, throbbing boilers on that beauty!

Model 2S

Voodoom heats up our frosty winter nights with this steamy, hot...The Snowmobile. Apparently this saucy strapless number pipes scalding hot steam directly into the cabin, keeping the driver cozy and scorched. Now that is hot!

snowmobile2

No stranger to hot, steamy Steampunk nights...possibly alone...is new guy Dwalin Forkbeard and this hybrid of a 1930 Henderson and a Honda Joker. I looked up both bikes, they exist and they are 50 shades of awesome!

Victorian Henderson

AadenH leaves a Snail Trail everywhere he goes. Not sure how that is erotic, but anyway...in an otherwise steamy Steampunk roundup, this low and blown ratrod is our dirty, filthy, shameful, sexy, slutty little secret.

Photo not available. :P

Peter Blackert knows that the postman always rings twice...or in his case nine times. If the movie holds any truth, its once to deliver your mail and once again to have a go with your Mrs. Peter demonstrates his ability as a repeat offender with this first of many entries, this one inspired by Mikhail Smolyanov's real life rides.

ARX-4 Steampunk Concept Motorcycle (Mikhail Smolyanov - 2012)

 Using a little more imagination (but not much, he says), Peter delights your Mrs. again with this titillating Steampunk interpretation of a 1960s era Formula racer in passionate blue and lusty red.

Lord Magnus Racing - #49

The farmer's daughter never looked so good...nor hard working. This saucy red Royal Express - Heavy Steam Traction Engine will plow any willing and eager crevasse with reckless abandon. And also your fields.

Royal Express - Heavy Steam Traction Engine

Here in steamy hot and sweaty Steampunk fashion is the alternative universe Ralston Steam Dragon. Funny, had I have written a third Ralston vehicle challenge it totally would have been a Dragon. I still might someday.

Ralston Steam Dragon Public Car

Peter thrusts hard and gets in good with some real live artists, in this case, famous French illustrator, Phillipe Bouchet (aka Manchu), with his rendition of Manchu's Steam Car. That's because he contacts them whenever he renders any of their work...a smart idea that can only lead to good things.

Manchu Steam Car (Philippe Bouchet aka Manchu)

 Peter rings again with another Mikhail Smolyanov creation, this time his Steam-Powered Land-Yacht. I didn't know it at the time, but Mikhail inspired my Copperhead of several challenges back, and he may have very well inspired this challenge. (hear that, Himber!) Maybe I should contact him and show him this steamy roundup. On second though, maybe I shouldn't.

Steampunk Steam-Powered Road-Yacht (Mikhail Smolyanov - 2014)

Yearning for more, your Mrs. begs for Peter to stop in yet again and this time he delivers a 1925 Doble E18 Murphy Limousine right across her eager, insatiable, upturned mouth. Wait what? Who writes this stuff?!

Doble E-Series E18 Murphy Limousine - 1925

Next the man-slab known as Peter erupts with this Steampunk Rolls-Royce Vintage Steam Explorer for our collective eager, insatiable, upturned mouths . This model is a variation of the Lego Hobby Series 1909 Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost, set # 395.

Rolls-Royce Vintage Steampunk Explorer

And finally, Peter pleases your Mrs. with this E20 Roadster, previously owned by Howard Hughes. Hey, at least Peter only visited your Mrs. nine times, as opposed to other challenges, which would have been like 40. By that point you could safely say the Mrs. you think you know is really up to no good at all. Or chock full of good, depending on your point of view.

Doble E-Series E20 Roadster - 1925

The 1970's was all about key parties, swinger's clubs, braless-ness, big mustaches, hot tubs...and also the Bond Bug microcar. The 1870's, however, if all those Jane Austen novels are accurate, were all about enticing the boys with just a tiny flash of ankle from beneath billowing Victorian hoop skirts. And this steam-powered Bond Bug as built by Yann.

A Steampunked Lego Bond Bug ...

Tim Inman unzips his pants and unleashes this hot, steamy, monstrous, brown load. Wait, what? I was trying to be all erotic there and boy, oh boy did that ever turn out wrong! Note to self: When writing erotic fiction, exclusion of the word "brown" would change the meaning entirely.

Steampunk Jeep Forward Control

But it's hard to write about Steampunk and not include mention of the ubiquitous brown as part of the color palate. Unless, of course, you're Lino Martins with this throbbing big, black monster. Because everyone knows, the black ones are always bigger.

Lucifer's Advocate

Get the Vaseline blurred lens, scores of scented candles, and a washed up 80's actress. Vinny Turbo goes all softcore Steampunk on us with this Bentrolls S Cloud in lovely not-brown, nor black, but a demure, yet alluring tan...appropriate for late night free cable but if you want the hard stuff you gotta pay for the premium channels.

Photo not available. :P

Vinny Turbo always rings twice and leaves us all quivering in a pool of our own seething desire as evidenced by this Six Wheeler from the "Epoque III" of the Steampunk Era. Its 50 shades of Vinny Turbo-tastic!

Photo not available. :P

Speaking of seething desire, the man-slab known as Ralph Savelsberg pounds out Nero's six-wheeled monster from that movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. When they say extraordinary, they must mean their ungentlemanly prowess with the ladies. Guess what ladies, Ralph is single...and probably will be for the rest of his life.

Photo not available. :P

Finally Captainsmog flexes his rock hard rippling Steampunk biceps and exposes us to the Brickish "Speed Demon MK.3", which is the first competitor in the famous 24 Hours of Steam. He finishes us all of and leaves us satisfied in a hot, breathy mess.

Photo not available. :P

Is that all of them? Yes it is. How'd we do? Well, I tried to be all bad erotic novelist about it but since we're all a bunch of dudes, the prose was all about rock hard biceps, throbbing manhood, and hot steamy loads...but no mention whatsoever of a woman's lustful lips, swelling breasts, and generous, curvy hips. As a result, I have inadvertently wrote the most testosterone fueled homoerotic roundup EVAR! Thanks, Himber, you jack wagon! Its all your fault. So if you're gay...you're welcome. The rest of youse can get the hell off my lawn, but be sure to some on back next month when we tackle a challenge called A Tale of Two Rivals...all about two equally awesome fictional car clubs who use different but equally awesome color schemes. Pretty much the sky is the limit, so will yours be a showstopping concept racer or a vintage dragster? Guess you'll have to tune in next month, same rock hard time, same rock hard channel. Oh and...um...I told you you'd thank me about the sock. Its actually a good thing we only have eight readers. Any more, and we would have been banned ages ago.









Saturday, December 20, 2014

Like, Totally 80's...Roundup

Ah, who could forget the 80's? It was a strange and tumultuous time for Rubik's Cubes, Pac-man, and much to the delight and confusion of a certain teenage LUGNuts founder, every last actress on cable TV worked out to Olivia Newton John, then peeled off their leg warmers and thonged neon leotards, and took sensuous, slow-motion showers at the gas station bathroom while horny coke-fueled captains of industry watched through peepholes. Later they meet face-to-face, get married, have  coke-fueled, yet somehow slow-motion sex, then have beautiful coke-fueled kids and live happily ever after and all that. Why doesn't any of that stuff happen any more? Hopefully this month's roundup called Like Totally, 80's, will bring back just a little sliver of some of that shallow 80's coke-fueled life. So slip on those friendship bracelets and roll up those Members Only jacket sleeves and enjoy this coke-fueled 80's era roundup. Like, Oh my god, totally!

Loek1990 is first on the slab and brings parachute pants and half-shirts back with this render of a 1986 Volvo 480. Its alright...I guess.

Volvo 480

Then he comes back shortly after with this  alright, I guess E30 M3 from 1989. Doesn't it totally encompass the 80's? No? Yes? OK, lets move on, then.

1989 BMW M3 (E30)

But wait, there's more! Order the Ronco Smokeless Ashtray now and you get this 1988 BMW M5 E34 (Touring).  Like New Coke, released in 1985, these renders are sure to be a hit!

1988 BMW M5 E34 (Touring)

A hit only to be pulled from the shelves months later and then incinerated in hopes the public would never remember this huge boner. And by "huge boner" I mean huge mistake...and not the other thing. Enjoying a bit more shelf time is this Ferrari 288 GTO built by Senator Chinchilla.

Ferrari 288 GTO

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. With me it usually means the other definition, but this time I meant the original definition. Glad I cleared that up. We wouldn't want any confusion when I lay out humor like this. And speaking of huge boners, Tom Netherton builds a Toyota AE86.

Toyota AE86

Then he comes back later with this render of a 80's Ford Econoline conversion van, which, like Betamax, had good intentions but lost popularity when the minivan came out...or in the case of Betamax when VHS came out.

Ford Econoline

Actually who am I kidding, Betamax was never popular. It was pretty much doomed from day one. Ralph Savelsberg  fires up The Quattro, which apparently is a star of the BBC TV series, Ashes to Ashes. I wouldn't know. Too many movies in the 80's featuring thonged leotards and slow-motion shower scenes made me wholly unaware of what BBC was doing.

Ashes to Ashes Audi Quattro

Are we there already? Seems we are. Sigh...OK, make yourselves comfortable. Pour yourselves three fingers of vodka and fetch your reading slippers, this is going to be a long ride. Peter Blackert starts his string of 80's cars with this BMW 850i coupe.

BMW E31 850i (1989)

Some kids are into Star Wars, others are into Ninja Turtles. When Peter was a lad, he though that this Mercedes-Benz C126 380/500 SEC was pretty special. And by "special" he must mean like the kids who rode the little yellow bus to school. Again, when using humor clarity is key.

Mercedes-Benz 380SEC Coupe (C126 - 1981)

1980 saw the advent of the Renault Fuego. I bet Peter also thought that was neat. Odd metric tires were amongst the French 'distinctiveness' that you either loved or hated. My vote: hated. In fact, it made the world so mad that Mount St. Helens blew its top in 1980. True story, bro.

Renault Fuego (1980)

Sometimes I don't need a humorous quip that thinly veils what I feel about a MOC. Occasionally the builder will do it himself. And I quote..."As I said in the 'discussion' thread. My own list of 1980s vehicles is a bit boring. This can be seen in the highly competent, but rather unexciting W126 S-Class Mercedes-Benz W126 500 SE Saloon (1985)."

Mercedes-Benz 500SE Saloon (W126 - 1985)

Turning the excitement knob up to a conservative 3 is this Jaguar XJ6. Peter tells us that unfortunately, much of the new technology in this Jag was unreliable and led to significant quality issues. Much like Hair-in-a-Can.

Jaguar XJ6 (XJ40 - 1986)

 If you like your excitement knob cranked up a little bit more but still dignified somehow, you may go ape poopy for this 1986 Aston Martin V8 Vantage Coupe as featured on the silver screen with James Bond in "The Living Daylights".

Aston Martin V8 Vantage - James Bond (1986)

And if you prefer to spend your 80's era hard-earned drug-dealer money on something red and Italian, you could blow it all on the 1986 Ferrari 328 GTS Targa. Its coveted by 80's era strip club owners and 80's era hair metal bass guitarists alike.

Ferrari 328 GTS Targa (1986)

Turns out strip club owners and hair metal bassists were not much into the 1989 Citroen XM. Even Renfair flutists and Uncle Al thinks its a little too stodgy for them. Uncle Al doesn't own a strip club or anything. He just fancies himself as a guy who can get women to take off their clothes. Mostly unattractive old ladies. And only two so far. But that's something.

Citroën XM

The 1984 Pontiac Fiero Coupe made it onto the list of the worst cars made in the 80's, mostly for engine fires...and the fact that Uncle Al owned one. Even says so in all the books. And I quote..."this is a total crap car cuz Lino's uncle Al owned one. He likes it when old ladies strip for him but he's only had like two do it...and one was on TV so that totally didn't count."

Pontiac Fiero (1984)

You know what gets Aussie women's knickers in a twist? This 1980 Holden VC Commodore HDT, apparently. Peter says in Australia this is the equivalent to getting ladies in the mood with a spa day, deep tissue massage, and a Whitman's sampler. Just sayin'...your secret to success boys, right here.

Holden VC Commodore HDT (1980)

Women also dig the '86 Mazda RX-7 too...but it's a special kind of gal that likes them. No...wait...holy crap! I was gonna crack some uninformed joke about the girls who would be attracted to these and a quick google search proves they're all pretty damned hot! I stand corrected. The secret to success, boys...a Mazda RX-7!

Mazda RX7 Turbo (FC 1987)

Before I went off all half-cocked and uninformed (its how I go through life, really)  I had to keyword "EA26 Ford Falcon" and "girls" to make sure there wasn't some secret sexy girl's club I had no idea existed. Turns out there isn't. Peter should start one.

Ford Falcon S (EA26 - 1988)

Or better yet he should hire some sexy model to pose astride a crappy 1987 Toyota Camry SV20 Wagon. Actually, I'll send a signed Lino STUDS card to the first person to photoshop that and post it on the internet. Seriously, yo!

Toyota Camry SV20 Wagon (1987)

The 1989 Honda CRX V-TEC technology allowed Asian kids with spikey hair to produce good torque and drivability at low engine speeds while also enabling the engine to rev its nuts off at 8000 rpm. True fact. Says so in the bible. Somewhere in the back, probably.

Honda CRX VTEC Coupe (1989)

The Mercedes-Benz W201 190E 2.3-16, according to Peter, marked the first of the hotrod 190E models and is available in smoky silver and black. The 2.3-16 is fast, but also discreet and would make a cool retro 80's ride, even today.

Mercedes-Benz W201 190E 2.3-16

The 1987 Magna Wagon is Japanese...or Australian...or something. I don't know, really. I'm pretty much just dialing it in here.

Mitsubishi Magna TN Wagon

The 1981 Ford Laser Ghia is also Australian and/or Japanese. Its like Duane "The Rock" Johnson. Is that guy black or some kind of Spanish? Maybe there's some Hawaiian in there? Or perhaps Middle Eastern? And for that matter, what about Jessica Alba?

Ford Laser Ghia Hatchback (KA - 1981)

Next on the Peter slab is the FIAT Uno. If you were Italian and of limited means in the 80's you'd get yourself one of these. Boy, were the 80's really this uninspired or did Peter just insist upon loading us with a bunch of humdrum rides?

FIAT Uno Hatchback (Type 146)

Apparently all the excitement in the 80's were for people who dealt in drugs and dirty money, as evidenced by this Ferrari Testarossa. The drug dealer connection was reinforced in the use of a white Testarossa in the TV show 'Miami Vice'. Now that's a spicy meat-a ball!

Ferrari Testarossa

Is that all of them? Holy crap, it is! Tim Inman picks up the pace of this roundup with this Minolta Toyota 88C-V. He tells us because: racecar. That's all the reason you need, really. Any 8 year old boy would love to have this as a bedframe! Turns out not many kids are buying the Fiat Uno bedframe. Maybe Peter did when he was little.

Minolta Toyota 88C-V

New guy Everblack somehow doesn't live up to his name with this red Ferrari Testarossa but he does further propagate the aforementioned joke that the 80's era Testarosa was for drug lords who wear ostrich skin loafers and white Z. Cavaricci pants. Hah! I had a pair of Cavariccis. They were so baggy I could smuggle both Hall and Oates inside them.

Ferrari Testarossa (1)

And speaking of haulin' oats just because I built it, doesn't mean I love it. Just like more than a few of Peter's entries, Lino Martins illustrates everything that was wrong with the 80's...pink shirts, mullets, jackets with the sleeves pushed up...and this '82 S-10 custom minitruck in god awful 80's colors.

1982 Chevy S-10 Mini-Truck

Its been awhile since Ricecracker graced us with his creations. Just like a sizzling fajita platter, he comes back big, loud, and fiery with this 80's era Dennis Fire appliance. He says it feels good to be building again. It does indeed.

Dennis Fire Appliance

Like Pac-Man, Rubik's Cubes and A Flock of Seagulls, Chrisbuilds tells us that the 1985 Pontiac Fiero left a real impression on him back in the 80's. His neighbor had one. He tells us the photo is shot in black and white to even out his old grey pieces and the factory rims...cardboard and double-sided tape. Clever.

1985 Pontiac Fiero

 Sam Sir Manperson tells us the MK1 Golf GTI was not really developed in the 80's but it was the third best car of the 80's, so that's a thing. Right? Sure it is, Sirman. I'm certain that's what Gary Numan was singing about in his 80's one-hit anthem about Cars...which, incidentally was the best thing out of the 80's. That and Phoebe Cates.

Lego 6-wide VW Golf MKI

Raphy submits this entry with an important public service announcement. "LUGNuts goes SPUDNuts with this twin-turbo'd Polish FSO Polonez with an '80s paintjob! Support Slavic farmers by buying Ukrainian potatoes. Stick it in the eye of Putin!" You hear that, Putin? Here at LUGNuts we are just not that into your potatoes!

_80spolonez

And on that fiery bombshell we conclude our roundup. What did we learn this time? We learned that you weren't anyone in the 80's unless you were hopped up on cocaine, we learned the difference between having a huge boner and being a huge boner, and Aussie women go ape poopy for the 1980 Holden VC Commodore HDT while the rest of the women of the world tend to favor the Mazda RX-7. We learned you can smuggle nearly anything in a pair of Z. Cavariccis (tried and proven by yours truly) and there's even room enough in my Cavariccis for Phoebe Cates...if she ever returns my god damned calls. Oh and Putin can stick his potatoes where the sun don't shine. That just about sums it up. What does the future hold for this little blog of ours? Well, it turns out we're going retro-future. Like Steampunk retro-future. Join us next month for a challenge we call Steampunk Autoworks...all about cars, bikes, and trucks catering to that theme. Top hats, goggles, airships, and blunderbusses are all the rage in this wildly popular Steampunk genre. Being into Steampunk will get you laid. That's the secret to success, boys...Steampunk...and maybe the Mazda RX-7. Just ask silent LUGNuts member and all around steamy load, Guy Himber, who recently wrote the book on Steampunk LEGO. He gets more ass than a gas station toilet seat...and slightly better quality, too. Unlike my Uncle Al who is fictitious to begin with. Sorry I lied to all y'all about that. Can you find it in your hearts to forgive me?