Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Only In America...Roundup

There have been well over 80 build challenges at LUGNuts and never have we had one strictly about American cars...until now. Welcome to a little roundup we call Only In America where we build accordingly, then reap the rewards with your unrelated comments about Canadian meds and girls gone wild. Speaking of things that only happen in America, I'm still reeling from BrickCon earlier this month. Now I have sworn to the Brotherhood of All Things Awesome that what happens at BrickCon stays at BrickCon, so sadly I can't publish the photos of AFOL heartthrob, Gary McIntire getting jiggy with a potted plant. But, since I have the secret-keeping ability of a 10 year old girl, in no particular order, here are the top 10 things said at BrickCon. Next thing you know,

1-  2000 spider eggs have spawned from your ballsack!
2-  When I become president I will spearhead the department of some god damned peace and quiet
3-  Growing up I thought my dad was Superman until I realized he was just a drunk in a cape.
4-  I'm glad I didn't have to look at the other passengers in coach.
5-  (Inset famous LEGO designer here) once unwittingly gave me a hug while I had a boner.
6-  Americans have Kentucky, we have New Zealand.
7-  Nevermind how I lost my pants, how I lost my hat is the interesting story.
8-  First one who passes out gets a dick drawn on their face with a Sharpie!
9-  Seriously, dude, have you ever known the touch of a woman?
10- A hangover is just the universe's way of were awesome last night!

There you have it. Now with that taste in your mouth, here is the roundup.

New guy chrisbuilds lives up to his name somehow with this slammed hot rodded, Chevy C-10 pickup. He tells us he's used every single black 1x3 slope in his collection to build this truck. I know how you feel, dude. Wait 'till you discover "Cracklink". You'll literally have 1x3 slopes coming out your ass!


Knowing full well what that is like is Brickdater with this quintessentially American '69 Chevy Corvette in blue. I've dated bricks before and I've found I'm more partial to dating milfs in yoga pants. They're both the cause and cure to all my problems.


And speaking of the cause and cure to all my problems, holy cripes, is it Peter's turn already? Yep, it is. Sit back, relax. Get yourself a donut and maybe a bourbon. Aussie engineer and world's most prolific builder, Peter Blackert pounds out a slew of renders starting with this tribute to me: a custom blue ledsled.

Linotopia - Blue Velvet - 1950 Mercury Lead Sled Coupe

At least he knows the secret to success: repeatedly sucking up to the boss! Its a lesson the rest of you can learn from as evidenced by this other homage to my big, giant head, a '57 Pontiac Safari wagon called Black Widow.

Linotopia - Black Widow - 1957 Pontiac Safari

Then leaving me in the dust like a drunk sorority girl, Peter goes with something not an homage to me, but rather a Buick's 1970 GSX with a 360 hp 455 CID V8. Peter tells us it was a high point in muscle car performance...or something.

Buick GSX - 1970

Then he gets all technical on our asses and tells us something only an engineer would care about: The world's first production V-16 in 1930 led through to the Cadillac Series 90 of 1937. Shown here in Limousine form. Engine was a 452 CID (7.4 litre) V-16 on a massive 154 in (3,192mm) wheelbase.

Cadillac 1937 Series 90 V-16 Limousine

I once drank 7.4 litres of cognac. Probably. I don't know, everything after the sword fight with the ringleader of a midget prostitution ring was all a blur. But I do know Peter rendered a pretty cool 1932 Auburn TWELVE Boattail Speedster.

Auburn TWELVE Boattail Speedster - 1932

 Aside from sucking up to the boss and geeking out over engine specs, just like a bad wedding singer, Peter is a good sport and takes requests. Someone wanted him to build a 2015 Dodge Viper GTS Coupe and, by golly, he answered the call of duty!

Dodge Viper GTS - 2015

Synonymous with failure but chock full of period style is this 1958 Edsel Bermuda wagon. I'm not the only one Peter sucks up to as, with this render, he shows a little love for Ralph Savelberg and Misterzumbi. Now that's sweet!

Edsel 1958 Bermuda Wagon

Once again Peter proves to be a good sport, you ask and you shall recieve, as evidenced by this 2015 Ford Mustang. You all should try it sometime. Ask for a render, see what he comes up with. Its better than the creepy balloon clown at the park. You ask for a giraffe balloon animal and instead you get a pink sword.

Ford 2015 Mustang S550

Knowing all about creepy pink swords, its a wonder I function at all. Back in the day, I built a 1953 Chevrolet Bel Air Hardtop Coupe Police Cruiser and Peter renders this Lino classic nicely here.

Chevrolet Bel Air Hardtop Police Cruiser - 1953 (Linotopia)

Going down his own path, Peter reminds us of America's long lost past with this classy white 1937 LaSalle custom speedster.

LaSalle 1937 Custom Speedster - (by Hollywood Coachworks under Frank Kurtis)

Another classy blast from America's past is this 1953 Kaiser Golden Dragon Hardtop, which sported real gold plating. He tells us Kaiser later became AMC. Wait...this later became the AMC Pacer?! What the hell were they thinking?!

Kaiser Golden Dragon Hardtop 1953

Next on the Peter slab he renders a 1931 Marmon SIXTEEN Roadster hot rod conversion by 'Hot Rod Garage' of Oklahoma. Wait, never mind that, you mean to say Kaiser later became AMC, which is responsible for such bombs as the Marlin and the Gremlin?! Dude, that blows my freakin' mind!

Marmon SIXTEEN  Roadster - 1931 (Hot Rod Garage of Oklahoma)

What has three eyes and a helicopter engine? The Tucker 48 Torpedo, another bit of US automotive history that went belly up in spite of all their best efforts. Next Peter will tell us that Tucker closed shop to later become Saturn motors or something.

Tucker Torpedo - 1948

Another sad reminder that great automotive companies don't always survive is this 1449 Hudson Commodore Eight. Hudson later closed down to become the makers of Tidy-Bowl toilet cleaner. Probably.

Hudson Commodore Eight - 1949

One of the advantages to not picking up an actual LEGO brick in years and instead rendering everything you do in LDD is you can build a 1936 Cord 810 Phaeton in what was called Curry color back in the day. Tasty!

Cord 810 Phaeton - 1936

During the Great Depression, Americans struggled to make ends meet, but alas they still found the dough to design some of the most extraordinary cars to date. Among them was the1933 Duesenberg SJ Arlington Torpedo Sedan, known as 'Twenty Grand'.

Duesenberg Rollston SJ Arlington Torpedo Sedan - 1933 - 'Twenty Grand'

Now twenty grand just might get you a prostitute that used to be (or still is) a dude or a used Toyota. Or maybe the original mint in box LEGO Hobby series 394 Harley-Davidson 1000cc Police Motorcycle set from the mid 70's. The mind reels with how to best invest the money. Or just recreate it yourself as Peter did here.

Lego Hobby Set #394 Harley Davidson 1000cc

Is that all of Peter's? I think so. Thank God! Now I can get on with the rest of the roundup with ease…or…um…damn it! Taking a page from the book of Peter is Tom Netherton who, not quite sure how these monthly challenges work, decided to dump every American car he's ever built starting with this '46 Dodge Power Wagon.

1946 Dodge Power Wagon

Next on the Tom slab is the 1956 Ford F-100. Tom assures us that no American challenge would be complete without it. Its just as American as the Statue of Liberty (built by the French) and french fries (the french, having nothing to do with that, apparently).

1956 Ford F-100

Perfect for slow moving police chases is the Ford Bronco. Now that's something you don't see anymore. Slow moving police chases. Oh, that and the Ford Bronco. Now they're just called SUVs.

Ford Bronco

Next Tom tells us that the 1969 Camaro SS is American muscle at its finest. Oh I don't know, I'm rather partial to the Pinto. Explosive action abounds!

1969 Chevy Camaro SS

A bit of overlap here, but Tom also builds a chopped Merc, this one with a flaming paint job.

1951 Mercury Chopped Top

You'd think an advantage to using LDD is the infinite amount of "pieces" you can have access to. Tom likes to use a limited selection as evidenced by this rather blocky 68' Dodge Charger, the year before the General Lee made the charger famous.

1968 Dodge Charger

Next Tom pounds out the quintessentially American Jeep CJ. I recall watching a 60 Minutes bit about the Jeep CJ easily tipping over when making a sharp turn or just sitting in the driveway.

Jeep CJ

Wait, now he's not even trying! This boxy blue sedan is not a Lincoln Continental or even an Aries K. Its  what he calls a 1965 Ford Mustang. Yeah, not to be that guy, but in comparing this to the real Mustang, looks like Tom needs to make better use of the LDD vast parts selection.

1965 Ford Mustang

Using almost the same parts selection, Tom renders the 1976 Cadillac Eldorado, which was the pinnacle of mid-70's drug dealin', ho' peddlin', fur coat wearing, coke snortin', breaking a pool stick over some sucka fool's head luxury.

1976 Cadillac Eldorado

Or you can just do all of the above in a 1969 Chevy C10 Camper Special for all I care. Whatever floats your boat. I stopped caring like six entries ago. Bring on the milfs in yoga pants!

1969 Chevy C10 Camper Special

Is that all of Tom's entries? No there's like three more. Lets persevere through them, shall we? Get a load of this Chevy Bel Air.

Chevy Bel Air

Not to be outdone by another Chevy Bel Air convertible, which is exactly the same as the previous Bel Air 'cept without a roof.

Chevy Bel Air Convertible

And finally here is a 1932 Ford Coupe. Insert your own prostitute who used to be a dude, tipping over in the driveway, breaking a pool stick over some sucker's head jokes here.

1932 Ford Coupe

Cripes! OK, onward and upward! Ralph Savelsberg has been doing a series of movie cars lately and first up is the star from Vanishing Point, a benign looking white Dodge Challenger that has a super-charged monster under the hood.

Vanishing Point Challenger (4)

Another creation of Ralph is a relatively unassuming yellow Camaro that also has a monster under the hood, as well as under the trunk lid, side doors, fenders, and roof. The whole thing transforms into Bumble Bee. Its a feat of engineering, is what it is. More cars should do this in real life. Somebody get on that!

Bumblebee (3)

I've met Firstinfantry at BrickCon and if anyone owns a gun rack, its that guy! He renders us a '77 Ford LTD for the volunteer fire department. Gun rack not included.

1977 Ford LTD

Next he renders a '72 AMC Matador as a Sheriff's car. The gun rack is probably included as well as donut holders in the doors and 70's era nudey magazines in the glove box. No one shaved anything back then.

1972 AMC Matador

Speaking of service vehicles, Lino Martins builds a Vanbulance. Being an American, I know we have so many of these, you can't throw a 70's era nudey magazine without hitting a Vanbulance. Actually they never existed. The original was a Monogram model kit designed by Tom Daniel in 1974 and, as far as I know, was never made into an actual car.


Well known for chromed out trucks…and sometimes bikes, Dennis Glaasker graces us with this early 2000's Road King Classic custom bagger Harley Davidson in snowy white. Cuz an all-American challenge just isn't complete without a Harley. And also references to 70's era nudey mags.

Harley Davidson Road King 'White Noise'

Sometimes these jokes just write themselves. Sir Manperson tells us…not much else say 'MURICA than a Rat-Rod flatbed truck with unhealthily placed exhausts and the visibility rate of blindness. Truer words could not have been spoken! Thanks for the easy copy/paste option, Sir Man.

Flatbed Rat Rod - rear

Is that all of them? Holy crap, it is! Over all, that was a pretty good round up, I think. I got a little tuckered out there for a bit, and as a result, distracted by milfs in yoga pants, but I think it went well. We learned that you really can get jiggy with a potted plant, spiders really can lay eggs in your ballsack, the Ford Bronco is perfect for slowly outrunning the cops after a double homicide and all police cars in the 70's came equipped with donut holders and nudey mags. This is all vitally important information for your next, tea party, prison riot, or job interview. Besides a slew of your ignorant unrelated comments about Canadian meds and pyramid schemes, what does the future hold for this blog? Well, it turns out next month is our ever popular birthday challenge, a good excuse to build anything from previous challenges throughout the year or even LUGNuts history. The challenge is called LUGNuts Turns 7…or 49 in Dog Years! We've had a slew of birthday doozies entered so far, so what will the rest of the month bring? I guess you'll have to tune in again next month, same bat-time, same bat-channel, to see for yourself. Until next time, lets see some yoga pants!

Monday, September 29, 2014

LUGNuts In Real Life…Roundup

Last month I had stated at the end of the roundup that anyone who commented without first reading the post were a bunch of mouth-breathing ignoramuses. I said something to the effect of "leave your ignorant comments in 3…2…1…" We generated a few such comments, thereby propagating my hilarious joke. I get a chuckle out of it, life goes on. But that got me thinking. What if they read most of the post, but then got tuckered out (cuz I can be a windbag at times), then left the comment before realizing I was calling them out for being dumbasses? That can be pretty unfair to any well meaning commenter who had no idea I was going to be such a pompous dick. So that is why I will give you all the benefit of the doubt now, right in the beginning of the post. Its OK to comment if you have read the post, but if it is obvious you haven't, and you still comment anyway, then you are a mouth-breathing ignoramus and may your crotch be infested with fleas! I probably could have been a little more diplomatic about it but diplomacy is for suckers. Its a wonder we have so few followers! Anyway, now that I got that outta the way, welcome to a little roundup we like to call LUGNuts In Real Life, or LUGNuts IRL if you're totally internet savvy. Here we let down our guard, let you into our lives, and build our own personal rides. Our own car is a window to our soul. Does my car make me a douchebag then? The opening paragraph certainly does. Lets see how the rest of us did.

As usual, our resident Aussie Ford engineer, Mr. Peter Blackert, pounds out a brevvy of entries, the first being his own ride, a Ford (well duh!) Kuga MkII AWD Diesel CUV (C520 - 2014) in lovely olive green. Here in the US they call this vehicle an Escape but you'd have to be Aussie to get it in Ginger Ale green.

Ford Kuga Trend AWD 2.0 Diesel (C520 - 2014)

The rules of the challenge state you can build entries from your extend family, particularly if you don't own a car yourself. Peter does own a car, but he'd be nobody if he didn't launch multiple entries. His Earth-friendly mum-in-law owns a 2013 Ford C-Max Hybrid. Yay!

Ford C-Max Hybrid (2013)

His Father-in-law Bill also drives a Ford, this one being the 2011 MkIII Focus sedan in grey with apparently rain clouds behind it.

Ford Focus MkIII Sedan (C346)

Seems being an engineer for Ford is a big influence on everyone in the family. With this logic, you'd think Peter's little bro is the black sheep of the family with this 2001 Audi A4. Although owning an Audi is usually the mark of a giant success. Maybe being the black sheep in their fam is not so bad.

Audi A4 (B6-2000)

Unless, of corse, you happen to be Peter's mum who, against her son's wishes, owns a 2012 Mazda2. There's a joke in here somewhere about a Skoda Yeti. I don't know, with a name like Skoda Yeti, I'd go with the Mazda also. Plus you can burn rubber and customize it like a boss, which, I'm sure, tops Peter's mum's list of things to do with this car.

Mazda2 Mk2 (2012)

Tom Netherton owns a fancy-pants 2013 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Access Cab. Normally he'd render something in a smaller scale but when you build (or render) the car that you spend a good chunk of your day in, lots more care and finesse goes into it. Great job.

Toyota Tacoma (large scale)

Loek1990 renders his also fancy-pants 2003 Mazda RX-8. When you get tired of that, Peter's mom has a pimped out Mazda2 she can sell you. Don't listen to Peter lest you'd end up buying…scrotum yeti or something.

2003 Mazda RX-8

New guy, FORD4LYF, whom I think is Peter in disguise, owns an '89 Ford Capri Turbo. Apparently,only 643 of the 2,614 cars were sold in Australia, as a majority of them were sold under the Mercury badge in the USA.  

1989 Ford Capri

Lino Martins owns a silver 2012 Fiat 500. Its my first car in 20 years. Yeah, this self proclaimed king of LEGO cars, admitted wordsmith and all around douchebag went carless for most my life. Does the car fit my personality? Was it everything you could have hoped for? Peter says its the car an urban hipster dufus would by. If the shoe fits

Lino's ride...2012 Fiat 500

Clearly knowing nothing about urban hipster dufuses is firstinfantry and his '83 Ford F-150. This is more of a backwoods country bumpkin's vehicle. I'm sure there's a gun rack in here somewhere.

1983 F150

Is that all of them? Seems it is. I can't wait to read your nonsense comments about Canadian meds and girls gone wild (presumably on Canadian meds). And while you're mulling over that image, its time for me to hand over this little writeup to Nathan (who's probably on some Canadian meds, come to think of it) who will then furnish the HTML and the little links for you to click. Next month, we've got a doozie of a challenge! It's called Only In America…all about cars, trucks, and bikes…and car cultures that make sense only in the good ol' U.S. of A. Will yours be a Dodge Daytona, a Ford Mustang or maybe even a 60's era Dragster? You'll have to check us out again next month to see. I'm hoping you'll leave yankee jokes, but instead we'll get comments with links to halloween cookies or pictures of some guy emptying his balls into custard pie. As always, you're all the best, most intelligent commenters in the world! And we value your opinions. God bless ya! Until next time, good night, all!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Generation Gap…Roundup

Some cars, like the Pinto, the Edsel, and the Aztek are one hit wonders that maybe were OK in their day, but no one ever wants to see again. Probably cuz they weren't even good enough to be deemed OK, even in their heyday. But some cars…some cars are just so awesome, you gotta bring them back generation after generation. We're talking the Chevy Malibu, the Ford Mustang, The Dodge Charger, the VW Beetle…all are worthy contenders for this month's challenge we like to call…Generation Gap.  A challenge like this was just ripe for buddy team ups both young and old alike! So how did we do then? Well, you youngins go ahead and get ON my lawn…its OK, I won't bite…and I don't smell like old people…now pull up a chair and check it out.

A LUGNuts challenge wouldn't be complete without a slew of Peter Blackert entries. First on the slab is one of many solo entries, this one a car that first appeared for one model year only, in 1959, as the Dodge Silver Challenger -available in silver color only.

Silver Challenger Club Sedan (1959)

In case you're writing a book, wanting the answers to Lino trivia questions or stalking me, you might like to know that I was born in Woonsocket, Rhode Island in 1971. This Peter-built Nissan Skyline GT-R Coupe was born the same year in Japan. While it is decidedly boxy, I seem to be a bit rounded around the edges. And slightly paunchy.

Nissan Skyline GT-R Coupe - 1971 (KPGC10)

The boxy Scirocco was spawned in 1974 and Peter presents us one in sort of a golden, mustardy color. it was the precursor to the game-changing VW Golf that came out a year later. Funny, now in 2014, the Modern VW Golf still outshines the modern Scirocco. Its like always having a richer, smarter, more successful, and better looking younger brother.

VW Scirocco MkI (1974)

Young Jonathan Derksen shows some love for the classic 1949 Cadillac Series Sixty-Two Convertible and as a result, shows all us oldsters…and the rest of the world how a good model LEGO car is done. Nothing beats the clean white and tan color scheme and those classic aircraft inspired tail fins.

1949 Cadillac Series 62 Convertible

A trio of grumpy old codgers team up to present three Rolls Royce Phantoms in delicious Neapolitan ice cream flavors. First Nathan Proudlove serves up the modern 2014 Phantom in decadent chocolatey  goodness. It looks good enough to eat!

Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe

Next Lino Martins spoons out a scoop of less decadent, but more popular vanilla flavor with the Rolls Royce Phantom II from the early 1930's. Strange how that works out. Its such a plain flavor but it is the most popular.

Rolls Royce Phantom II…Vanilla Flavor

Rounding out our ice cream flavors nicely, Peter comes back to help us out with a heaping helping of strawberry flavored Phantom V goodness from the 60's. This render represents a particular Rolls owned by Sir Elton John. How does that song go? Hold me closer Tony Danza?

Rolls Royce Phantom V…Strawberry Flavor

And not quite sure how buddy challenges work, Sir Manperson asserts his manhood into our trio and berths an unplanned 2000-something Phantom Rolls. Turns out Neapolitan has a fourth flavor. Mayonnaise!

4-wide Rolls Royce Phantom

New guy Skuppi knows the score. He goes solo and pounds out a1967 Mustang GT350 with classic blue Shelby striping. He tells us this is definitely one of the coolest things that the sixties produced. That and braless-ness.

Proving to be an all around pal, Peter comes back to buddy up with none other than Ralph Savelsberg. This time the dynamic duo presents a pair of Ford Thunderbirds. Peter goes retro-modern with the 2002 shown here in red, with the optional white removable top.(Speaking of Braless!)

Ford Thunderbird 2002 (Eleventh Generation - DEW98)

And Ralph continues with his series of movie cars and builds the famous 1966 Ford Thunderbird Convertible from the film 'Thelma & Louise', Starring Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon. I don't care how old they are. Those two can go braless anytime they want. Hubba-hubba!

Thelma and Louise Thunderbird (1)

And by "those two" I meant Peter and Ralph. Hah! Dumb joke, I know. But it had to be done. Anyway, Sir Manperson redeems himself slightly with this render of a 350Z, which I suppose comes from a long line of "Zeds".

Lego Nissan 350Z

Anybody who's anybody has the new Mini Cooper official LEGO set. Well I don't have it but its tops on my birthday list. When you don't have the set, you simply strive to build your own as Peter did here with this 1994-2000 Mk VII Cooper in British racing green with white stripes.

Mini Cooper (Mk VII) - 1994

The Dodge Challenger was a car so good they had to bring it back again in 2008. Muscle cars in general died out in the 80's, 90's, and most of the oughts so its refreshing to see a resurgence in modern times. Peter brings it back and its pretty in purple.

Dodge Challenger - 2008

 I'm not sure I like it when a car as cool and iconic is the Mini Cooper reinvents itself as a larger, roomier 4-door. It was iconic because it was so small, so different, but now I think it has lost its identity. Fiat 500 is doing the same with the 500L and the soon to be released 7-seater. But Peter does it justice with the 2013 Mini Mk III.

New Mini Cooper S Mk III

Remember that bastard child of the 70's that couldn't live up to his brother's fame and good looks? No, I don't mean Tito Jackson. I'm talking about the VW Scirocco lifecycle Mk III from 2008 to present. The modern Scirocco sadly still can't live up to the modern Golf. Peter renders it here in envious green.

VW Scirocco MkIII - 2008 (PQ35)

Come to think of it, Michael turned out ugly and dead so I guess Tito is doing OK for himself all things considered.  Also doing OK for itself, the most recent addition to the GT-R legend, the 2011 update Nissan R35 GT-R.

Nissan GT-R (CBA-R35 2011)

Is that all of them? I think it is. That concludes the roundup that started with a Pinto, ended with Tito Jackson and there was a whole lot of ribbing in between. The hope was to bring readers young and old together to lament about classic rides that have had modern a resurgence, but most likely we'll get a lot of dead air and maybe eventually one or two unrelated comments about Canadian meds or get rich quick business schemes. Has anyone ever met anyone who sends those kind of spam emails and comments? I bet they're just the kind of people no one would ever want to hang out with…the kind of ignorant dipshits who think Streetfighter is the best movie ever made and that Matchbox 20 is an awesome band. No, I can't say I've ever met anyone like that nor would I want to. Anyway…so what are we doing next month? We're getting deeply personal for a challenge we like to call LUGNuts In Real Life…all about letting down our guard and building our own personal rides. Chances are, the vehicles we drive daily aren't as wild as the Batmobile or a concept Lamborghini with freakin' lasers coming out of the grille, but they're our own so they mean something very special to us. Oh by the way…I own a car now. Yeah, yeah, I know, not quite as ironic when the LEGO car guru doesn't even own a car, but I do now so I guess you're gonna have to delete that hilarious chapter of the book you may be writing on me. So what sort of car do you think I own? You'll have to wait until next month to see. In the meantime, if you have read this, go ahead and leave your guesses in the comment section. Or better yet, explain to us your thoughts on how future sociologists will see current online groups as subcultures. If you haven't read this, then by all means, leave your ignorant comment in 3…2…1...