Monday, September 29, 2014

LUGNuts In Real Life…Roundup

Last month I had stated at the end of the roundup that anyone who commented without first reading the post were a bunch of mouth-breathing ignoramuses. I said something to the effect of "leave your ignorant comments in 3…2…1…" We generated a few such comments, thereby propagating my hilarious joke. I get a chuckle out of it, life goes on. But that got me thinking. What if they read most of the post, but then got tuckered out (cuz I can be a windbag at times), then left the comment before realizing I was calling them out for being dumbasses? That can be pretty unfair to any well meaning commenter who had no idea I was going to be such a pompous dick. So that is why I will give you all the benefit of the doubt now, right in the beginning of the post. Its OK to comment if you have read the post, but if it is obvious you haven't, and you still comment anyway, then you are a mouth-breathing ignoramus and may your crotch be infested with fleas! I probably could have been a little more diplomatic about it but diplomacy is for suckers. Its a wonder we have so few followers! Anyway, now that I got that outta the way, welcome to a little roundup we like to call LUGNuts In Real Life, or LUGNuts IRL if you're totally internet savvy. Here we let down our guard, let you into our lives, and build our own personal rides. Our own car is a window to our soul. Does my car make me a douchebag then? The opening paragraph certainly does. Lets see how the rest of us did.

As usual, our resident Aussie Ford engineer, Mr. Peter Blackert, pounds out a brevvy of entries, the first being his own ride, a Ford (well duh!) Kuga MkII AWD Diesel CUV (C520 - 2014) in lovely olive green. Here in the US they call this vehicle an Escape but you'd have to be Aussie to get it in Ginger Ale green.

Ford Kuga Trend AWD 2.0 Diesel (C520 - 2014)

The rules of the challenge state you can build entries from your extend family, particularly if you don't own a car yourself. Peter does own a car, but he'd be nobody if he didn't launch multiple entries. His Earth-friendly mum-in-law owns a 2013 Ford C-Max Hybrid. Yay!

Ford C-Max Hybrid (2013)

His Father-in-law Bill also drives a Ford, this one being the 2011 MkIII Focus sedan in grey with apparently rain clouds behind it.

Ford Focus MkIII Sedan (C346)

Seems being an engineer for Ford is a big influence on everyone in the family. With this logic, you'd think Peter's little bro is the black sheep of the family with this 2001 Audi A4. Although owning an Audi is usually the mark of a giant success. Maybe being the black sheep in their fam is not so bad.

Audi A4 (B6-2000)

Unless, of corse, you happen to be Peter's mum who, against her son's wishes, owns a 2012 Mazda2. There's a joke in here somewhere about a Skoda Yeti. I don't know, with a name like Skoda Yeti, I'd go with the Mazda also. Plus you can burn rubber and customize it like a boss, which, I'm sure, tops Peter's mum's list of things to do with this car.

Mazda2 Mk2 (2012)

Tom Netherton owns a fancy-pants 2013 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Access Cab. Normally he'd render something in a smaller scale but when you build (or render) the car that you spend a good chunk of your day in, lots more care and finesse goes into it. Great job.

Toyota Tacoma (large scale)

Loek1990 renders his also fancy-pants 2003 Mazda RX-8. When you get tired of that, Peter's mom has a pimped out Mazda2 she can sell you. Don't listen to Peter lest you'd end up buying…scrotum yeti or something.

2003 Mazda RX-8

New guy, FORD4LYF, whom I think is Peter in disguise, owns an '89 Ford Capri Turbo. Apparently,only 643 of the 2,614 cars were sold in Australia, as a majority of them were sold under the Mercury badge in the USA.  

1989 Ford Capri

Lino Martins owns a silver 2012 Fiat 500. Its my first car in 20 years. Yeah, this self proclaimed king of LEGO cars, admitted wordsmith and all around douchebag went carless for most my life. Does the car fit my personality? Was it everything you could have hoped for? Peter says its the car an urban hipster dufus would by. If the shoe fits

Lino's ride...2012 Fiat 500

Clearly knowing nothing about urban hipster dufuses is firstinfantry and his '83 Ford F-150. This is more of a backwoods country bumpkin's vehicle. I'm sure there's a gun rack in here somewhere.

1983 F150

Is that all of them? Seems it is. I can't wait to read your nonsense comments about Canadian meds and girls gone wild (presumably on Canadian meds). And while you're mulling over that image, its time for me to hand over this little writeup to Nathan (who's probably on some Canadian meds, come to think of it) who will then furnish the HTML and the little links for you to click. Next month, we've got a doozie of a challenge! It's called Only In America…all about cars, trucks, and bikes…and car cultures that make sense only in the good ol' U.S. of A. Will yours be a Dodge Daytona, a Ford Mustang or maybe even a 60's era Dragster? You'll have to check us out again next month to see. I'm hoping you'll leave yankee jokes, but instead we'll get comments with links to halloween cookies or pictures of some guy emptying his balls into custard pie. As always, you're all the best, most intelligent commenters in the world! And we value your opinions. God bless ya! Until next time, good night, all!