Saturday, November 17, 2012
Ever notice how the only comments we get on this blog are from people who don’t actually read them? Some just read the title and figure its good enough, like “You know alot about plain jane.” Gee thanks! Others don’t even try. Take this gem, for instance; “Once there was a scary witch, which flew to a window in the wee hours of a dark night to frighten a boy.” Then there was some link to some unrelated thing. Some try to make it seem like they’ve read it but miss the mark completely. For example; “I read your blog vey carefully .i think it is very knoledegable information for everyone” Did ya now? What part did you find particularly knowledgeable? Was it the part where I said Bane sounds just like Sean Connery trapped in a toilet while eating a sub sandwich or was it the part where I said I just sold a human foot to some Chinese dudes in a van? I may be a lot of things, but a good knowledgeable journalist isn’t one of them. I present LEGO cars that we have built. Admittedly I have a way with words, and I can make people laugh...but that’s about it. So, for this extra special 5th birthday roundup, lets generate some real comments from real people who have actually read the damned thing. Deal? Deal!
I mean seriously, it isn’t every month LUGNuts turns 5 and it isn’t every month Isaac W builds us a red and white 1955 Pontiac Star Chief for the Nifty Fifties, Daddy-O Challenge. I remember when I was 5. It was a record year for couch jumping/ bowling ball bouncing emergency room visits.
New guy, Poppa JB chimes in on the 60th challenge, 5th birthday extravaganza with a concept bike loosely based on the 1988 animated Akira movie. You know, sometimes people don’t comment anything at all but just leave links to some website or another.
And while I scan through page after page after page of hot college girls gone wild, I fail to see anything relevant to what was written in our blog. Its like they didn’t even read the damned thing...you feel like they don’t even care. Its quite disheartening, really. Oh and Poppa JB builds another bike.
Speaking of hot college girls gone wild, Volume X shows us what they looked like in the 40’s. I do prefer the nostalgia look and here we have a buxom lass posed with his ’32 Ford Coupe Ratrod. Consider it a birthday gift from the LUGNut with the puzzling mathematical name. Its what all 5 year olds would want.
Vinny Turbo somehow lives up to his name and is having the best month ever. Turns out he knows a lot about Plain Jane (insert opener joke here!) with his luxury cabrio before getting a fixer-upper.
And Plain Jane would be nothing without going from mild to wild with his second entry all nice and fixed up pretty. Ever notice its “girls gone wild” and not women gone wild? That’s because when girls go wild they jump on trampolines and show off their boobies. Its really quite cute.
But when women go wild they down a quart of Jack Daniels, shave their heads, and drown their kids in the tub. Its not cute at all. Am I right, people? Who’s with me on this? Right? Tim? Ralph? Anyone out there? Ok, lets move on. Vinny shows us a pretty blue Hudson Hornet for Nifty Fifties, Daddy-O.
He also shows us The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of. It turns out dreams are made of a sleek white 30’s era roadster. he says this car reminds him of a beautiful bride with her blue eyes and rounded shapes in a white dress. Yeah I can see that.
If that entry was a beautiful young bride, the next is the same bride after the meds wear off...much more psychotic and schizophrenic. You can interpret it as either falling into the card game, 52 Pickup category, a car for The Riddler and/or Joker and a 2013 Le Mans Racer.
Everything Under the Sun demanded that we build something in which the driver’s head was exposed to the elements. There’s nothing more exposed to the elements-er than this topless model. Heh...topless model. Someday some perv is gonna keyword that and find this instead. Jokes on you, pervs!
All this talk of girls! That’s why its refreshing that Vinny churns out a rather manly chopper for the Rubber Side Down, Shiny Side Up challenge. Its an alternate model to the official Technic 8291 set.
Next on the Vinny Turbo slab, he goes Octan Racing with this Le Mans racer. Oh wait, on closer inspection this is like several Octan colored Le Mans racers. Like Barack Obama and the people who voted for gay rights and legalized pot in Washington, Vinny is indeed having the best month ever.
Next its Octan Racing again but this time a little more oldschool with this 30’s era racer. Yeah in case you ain’t from around here, it was a pivotal election here in Washington state. You can now make that bromance official and marry your best chum, if you are so inclined, and you can also legally hit the bong while you do it. Duuuuuuude!
Man, I should have cracked the usual joke I do when Peter starts with his entries. Are you comfortable? Do you need to grab yourself some crackers and cheese? Maybe some Three-Peckered Billygoat coffee? Cuz its going to be a long trip. Never mind, its too late for that. Here’s another Everything Under The Sun entry.
Next is a Batmobile: 2025 with three modes. “Discrete” as if this car can even be discrete at all, “pursuit” to help chase the bad guys, and “flying” for when a hero is stuck in traffic and needs to quickly get home to watch Survivor. Do the wonders ever cease with Vinny? Wait, I think they just did. That was his last entry. Wow, what a rush!
New guy Angka Utama chimes in with this sleek black and yellow bike for the Rubber Side Down, Shiny Side Up challenge. You want to maybe plunk down some hard earned cash to buy this bike as an official set? Vote for it on Cuusoo and maybe, just maybe you can get your chance.
Turns out the new guy with the odd name really likes bikes. Or maybe he was born to participate only in six month old challenges. Either way, here is another bike for the Rubber Side Down, Shiny Side Up challenge. He risks the wrath of George Lucas’ well-paid lawyers by calling it THX 1138. That’ll show ‘em, Angka!
Jonathan Derksen orders up a 1950 Austin Martin DB2 and builds a figure with a bad combover. He rightfully reasons that the only guy who can afford such a stellar car is a paunchy older dude with a combover. Ain’t it the truth, though? This proves that its the money and car that makes the man and not so much his hair.
We all go through creative blocks from time to time and lose ambition on a project. It happens, even to the best of us. But Dylan Denton’s version of losing ambition manifests into this wicked cool Rallye Nuovo Concept. I wish my failed projects turned out this well!
Rolic has probably never had a failed project in his life, as evidenced by this Koenggggggggsegggggggggg CCXR. No, I didn’t mistype. That was a Top Gear joke for those who didn’t catch it. See, with Rolic not cracking any jokes about Batman falling out of a wheelchair or the popemobile I have to crack them myself...and sometimes they just fall flat.
Sometimes when building for a birthday challenge they can fall under like nine categories. That’s the magic of the birthday challenges. This second entry from Rolic is a Volvo FH16 and can fall under at least: Order By Numbers, On The Job, All But Four, Haulin’ Ass, and I Wannabe Like You. He’s talking about you, Bricksonwheels!
The Big Rafalski wants to be like Misterzumbi, and who doesn’t, really? He’s short but with his Ivan Drago accent still intimidating as hell. He has an “I don’t give a flying crap” attitude, he’s a real live hot rodder, an ungodly talented builder...oh and he is a designer for LEGO. What’s not to love? So Rafalski shows some love with this badass hotrod.
Ralph Savelsberg shows some love for the official classic 5510 Off-road 4x4 LEGO set by overhaulin’ it and making it way cooler. And its remote controlled! Bet you didn’t see that coming, Ralph says. No, no we didn’t. But we didn’t expect you to be the time travelin’ cause of strip clubs, either.
Ralph’s second entry; a London taxi that can fit into On The Job and God Save The Queen challenges. He also featured a paunchy bald cab driver and a smartly dressed London businessman. I can just hear the dialogue; “ ‘ello gov’na. Where to?” “Good day, kind sir. Please take me to Buckingham Palace pronto and you’ll have a quid in it for you.” “ Oy, bollocks, ye a cheap bloke, ain’tcha!”
Not a cheap bloke, probably, is Bricksonwheels and his massive overhaul of the official 9398 Technic Rock Crawler 4x4 set. This one also crawls on rocks via remote control, but unlike the set, it is a detailed red Hummer H3. Now how can I get my grubby mitts on the control for this?
I’d also like to get my grubby mitts on this sweet ’68 Dodge Charger as built by Lego Junkie. This, being only his second car, was inspired by the Model Team layout at BrickCon 2012. Seems I want to get my grubby mitts on everything. That is a concern...maybe I should wash my hands first. That way they’re way less grubby.
Holy crap, is this starting now? Yep, it is! Peter Blackert has had a particularly productive month starting with this ’58 Edsel Citation both in convertible and hardtop forms. Ok, here’s the deal; I can’t write 4-6 lines for all 30-someodd entries. So for his entries hereafter, I will only write humorous punchlines. That way, you still get all the laughs without all the writing. Its a win-win situation. Here goes.
I’m glad I don’t have to look at the other passengers in coach.
It was the most I’ve ever thrown up, and that’s how it changed my life forever.
Stevie Nicks now has to have her assistant inject cocaine up her butt because her nose is so ruined. True story, bro.
Midgets are littler than we are. Next time use a lesser dose of chloroform, for christ sakes!
You wouldn’t expect the coroner’s report to end in the phrase “right in the goddamned nuts”, but it did.
It was a good idea to open an amusement park for free, but your idea of amusement most people find appalling.
...and speaking of grubby mitts, no matter how much you scrub, you still can’t wash that stain off your soul.
Lord Richard Pukington III
Losing my job at the Dairy Queen was not so much a bellwether of the failed economy, but rather a bellwether of the fact that I dipped my wang in the butterscotch.
I know, right! I can’t believe how hilarious I am! See, its reasons like this that is why I’m on the cover of BrickJournal.
I know AFOLs aren’t the best looking people, but did you have to publish the photo of me mid-sneeze. C’mon, Joe, seriously!
A lawyer is a good thing to have. I tried to represent myself in a small claims court against a dry cleaning company. The result: 8 years in maximum security prison!
Yes, but is the poop deck really what I think it is?
I can assure you, Officer, the prostitute was dead before I picked her up!
The clowns don’t come out to eat children until way after 6 so you should be good until then.
Your deal with the devil is now complete!
Its like a party in my mouth and everyone is Republican
This has been the summer of my German humiliation.
Lets take the whole family out to see this glory hole everyone is talking about!
Its just the cross I bear for having a head the size of a watermelon.
They’re into crop circle making and anal probing, but then again, who isn’t?
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
Donuts are the cause...and the solution to all my problems.
This will be the third time you’ve had to change your name and relocate...an endeavor you can avoid altogether if you’d just pay for cable.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
...with long, awkward father-son talks about how lavender shampoo turned my brother gay.
So the doctor says "there's my thermometer! Now where the hell did my pen go?"
...then the guy with no arms and no legs says "how do you think I rang the doorbell?"
When it comes to alcohol, I’m not a wino, but rather a why yes!
The nerve of those Chinese dudes asked for a refund on their human foot!
...once again lie to the dentist about brushing three times a day, flossing regularly, and not sleeping with his wife at the nearby motel every other Monday.
Phew! Is it over now? That was hard! I am completely winded from writing them one-liners. That may have been harder than just writing out the whole thing. Anyway, drdesignz makes it all that much better with this yellow Kickin’ It Oldschool rod. Its like a party in my mouth and everyone is asleep by 8pm. Cuz they gotta get up early.
Ok, that joke fell flat. His second entry is just what the dr ordered. He ordered up a vehicle to handle any extreme terrain. And he’s a real doctor. Just like Doktor Zapp. Remember him? Where did drdesignz go to med school, anyway?
No matter. His doctorate degree is probably in badass kustomz as evidenced by this overhauled VW T1 Camper Van lowrider. Its nice having all these doctors around. Maybe somebody can find a cure for my Saturday Night Fever. No? Ok, lets move on then.
AadenH enters a challenge for the first time (really? I thought he has entered before. Oh, that must have been AidenH) and the end result is a fully chrome, monochrome masterpiece. The exterior is monochrome yellow and the interior is fully chromed. Get it? Anyway, nice work, AadenH....who is definitely not AidenH.
Poland exports civilian aircraft, transport equipment...and Polish jokes. But Raphy found a Polish joke so obscure not even a solar powered flashlight can decipher it. See what I did there? He says only Poles will get it and being only like 1/4 Polish, its lost on me. But anyway, there it is.
Mr. Freeze puts (what else?) a freeze on Gotham City and Sharpspeed comes to the rescue with Robin’s modified hopper made for cold conditions. The interior is heated so that the occupants don’t freeze and there are cup holders for hot cocoa. So...does this mean Robin would have done just as well in a used Volvo then?
No stranger to paying for strange is Tim Inman and his yellow 1962 Apollo GT. You might be thinking...dude, what the hell? You didn’t even segue into that, you’re just picking on Tim for the heck of it! Yeah, its what I do. He takes it so well. Awesome car, Tim! Awesome car.
At BrickCon 2012 Gilcelio Chagas and I agreed to team up to build a couple of sleek new vehicles for Catwoman: 2025. We didn’t tell each other what we were doing, but the end result: He takes us all by surprise with a totally new never-before-seen blue car!
While Lino Martins goes the slightly more predictable route with a catcycle. Its usually portrayed as a purple sports bike so I dialed back the purple to be only an accent color and dialed back the sports bike so that...it isn’t a sports bike at all, but rather a concept drag bike. The back view reveals a very cheeky Catwoman indeed! Meow!
Fritz4783 dreams of a job where he can drive a flatbed with a crane on the back. Wait, this offers no opportunities for jokes about cheeky catwomen or paying for strange. I’m nothing without my crass jokes. C’mon, people...make with the funny, already! Awww nuts, I’ve got nothin’.
If working LEGO retail has taught me only one thing, its no one liked the Ninjago 2506 Skull Truck. It sat on the shelf for months and when it was bought, it was our most returned item. But no one would return their set if it was first overhauled by Marin Stipkovic. This thing is baaaaadaaaas, and remote controlled! Chock full of pure win!
You normally wouldn’t think of the Mini Cooper handling any kind of extreme terrain, cuz, you know, its sort of small and sensible. Except in the hands of Flak_Magnet, you have a monster super cooper that can handle the extreme terrain of a lot of tires strewn all over the place. Way to be extreme, Flak!
Next Flak once again fires up his trusty hot incandescent bulbs to photograph Any Legendary European Vehicle...in this case, the 1985 Porsche 911. You know, Flak, a little post-production trickery can brighten that image right up. Just sayin’ is all.
Knowing all about post-production trickery as well as...um...production trickery is Tiler. He rolls out five badass bikes for the Rubber Side Down, Shiny Side Up challenge, the first being a mean chrome-laden chopper for a mean tattoo-laden punk. Pink mohawk cuts the air like a shark fin as he speeds along.
Swap out the chrome for some carbon drab, change up the styling and you’ve got yourself a mean little chopper for a mean little greaser. There is technically more oil in his hair than there is in the motorcycle engine.
The meanest of the mean just might be Tiler’s Punisher with his chopped badass bobber. I can’t even decide which I like more. They’re just all chock full of cool.
No exception to this chock full of cool is Dead Pool (hey, that rhymes!) and his Bloody Mary. Isn’t Dead Pool into dead prostitutes or something? But then again, who isn’t?(see previous write ups.)
Next we have Wolverine and The Claw. He’s known for his helpful attitude and overall cheery disposition, which is why his outfit is yellow. ;) Anyway, Tiler has proven, without a doubt, that you can build truly badass bikes in minifig scale.
But the fun doesn’t stop there, kids! Tiler chimes in with an encore minifig performance, but this time with a sweet little hotrod complete with chrome bits and striped Mexican blanket. We should all be this cool!
What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold! Alright alright alright alright-aright-aright-aright-a-riiiiiight! Shake it. Shake it. Shake it like a polaroid picture. Hey Ya....hey yaaaaa! Oh and Lego Builders builds some thing for a family road trip.
Lend me some sugar! I am your neighbor! Sorry...I was just really getting into it there. Anyway, Agent WHO rustles up some destruction with this... Destruction MK1. Its a truck built to intimidate and literally crush your enemies. Nice monster tires there!
But I’m afraid the Destruction MK1 would have nothing to defeat what Nathan Proudlove has in store for us. He’s had this plan for years now to build the ultimate automotive harbingers of doom...the Four Cars of the Apocalypse. Straight from the pages of the Bible comes a Dictator’s gold-laden limo hellbent on world Conquest.
War rides a fiery red horse, or in this case a blood red Hummer built to wreck havoc on all it encounters and devastate the environment and world resources while doing it. With one mile to the gallon while going uphill, what can be more soul crushing and destructive than the sight of a Hummer?
What can be more soul crushing and destructive than War? Possibly Famine riding a deathly black horse...or better yet a massive pickup truck with the scales insignia...reminding us that some take, take, take, and take some more while others with nothing starve.
Death rides a pale hearse and comes for all of us at one time or another. Some interpret the Mayan calendar, and the world, ending this year...so we have a month and a half to party like there’s no tomorrow. Are the Four Cars of the Apocalypse coming soon...or are they already here? Have they been here all along? Think about it.
That was a deep project and a fitting end to our roundup...and the world as we know it! If we’re all still alive, stay tuned next month for a build challenge we like to call... wait, what? There’s two more? But this was such a cool segue into the final paragraph. Ok, fair is fair. New guy LegoNoitAllMocs chimes in late with a yellow Lambo Murcielago.
And as indicated in the new topic he started and no one responded to, he singularly really, really, really likes Lamborghinis...as evidenced by his second entry, Kevin the modified Lambo SV. It would be interesting to see how he takes his singular vision to other build challenges.
Will he build another Lambo for next month’s challenge called The Great Chase...all about movie cars and car chase scenes? Will you build anything for this challenge? Its looking pretty sparse now, but the challenge is ripe with potential. C’mon, who could resist building, say the Deathproof Nova, The Bat Tumbler, Herbie the Love Bug, or the Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill? All been done, you say? Then maybe some exciting new strategy is in order. We’ll just have to wait and see how it all pans out. And in the meantime, leave a comment here...even if its just to say... “I read your blog vey carefully .i think it is very knoledegable information for everyone”. Or hot college coeds are lonely tonight. Click the link to find out more. Its a real shame when hot college coeds have to spend a night alone...studying for mid terms...or doing whatever it is hot college coeds do while they’re alone. A real shame indeed.
Posted by Lino M