Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Only In America...Roundup

There have been well over 80 build challenges at LUGNuts and never have we had one strictly about American cars...until now. Welcome to a little roundup we call Only In America where we build accordingly, then reap the rewards with your unrelated comments about Canadian meds and girls gone wild. Speaking of things that only happen in America, I'm still reeling from BrickCon earlier this month. Now I have sworn to the Brotherhood of All Things Awesome that what happens at BrickCon stays at BrickCon, so sadly I can't publish the photos of AFOL heartthrob, Gary McIntire getting jiggy with a potted plant. But, since I have the secret-keeping ability of a 10 year old girl, in no particular order, here are the top 10 things said at BrickCon. Next thing you know,

1-  2000 spider eggs have spawned from your ballsack!
2-  When I become president I will spearhead the department of some god damned peace and quiet
3-  Growing up I thought my dad was Superman until I realized he was just a drunk in a cape.
4-  I'm glad I didn't have to look at the other passengers in coach.
5-  (Inset famous LEGO designer here) once unwittingly gave me a hug while I had a boner.
6-  Americans have Kentucky, we have New Zealand.
7-  Nevermind how I lost my pants, how I lost my hat is the interesting story.
8-  First one who passes out gets a dick drawn on their face with a Sharpie!
9-  Seriously, dude, have you ever known the touch of a woman?
10- A hangover is just the universe's way of were awesome last night!

There you have it. Now with that taste in your mouth, here is the roundup.

New guy chrisbuilds lives up to his name somehow with this slammed hot rodded, Chevy C-10 pickup. He tells us he's used every single black 1x3 slope in his collection to build this truck. I know how you feel, dude. Wait 'till you discover "Cracklink". You'll literally have 1x3 slopes coming out your ass!


Knowing full well what that is like is Brickdater with this quintessentially American '69 Chevy Corvette in blue. I've dated bricks before and I've found I'm more partial to dating milfs in yoga pants. They're both the cause and cure to all my problems.


And speaking of the cause and cure to all my problems, holy cripes, is it Peter's turn already? Yep, it is. Sit back, relax. Get yourself a donut and maybe a bourbon. Aussie engineer and world's most prolific builder, Peter Blackert pounds out a slew of renders starting with this tribute to me: a custom blue ledsled.

Linotopia - Blue Velvet - 1950 Mercury Lead Sled Coupe

At least he knows the secret to success: repeatedly sucking up to the boss! Its a lesson the rest of you can learn from as evidenced by this other homage to my big, giant head, a '57 Pontiac Safari wagon called Black Widow.

Linotopia - Black Widow - 1957 Pontiac Safari

Then leaving me in the dust like a drunk sorority girl, Peter goes with something not an homage to me, but rather a Buick's 1970 GSX with a 360 hp 455 CID V8. Peter tells us it was a high point in muscle car performance...or something.

Buick GSX - 1970

Then he gets all technical on our asses and tells us something only an engineer would care about: The world's first production V-16 in 1930 led through to the Cadillac Series 90 of 1937. Shown here in Limousine form. Engine was a 452 CID (7.4 litre) V-16 on a massive 154 in (3,192mm) wheelbase.

Cadillac 1937 Series 90 V-16 Limousine

I once drank 7.4 litres of cognac. Probably. I don't know, everything after the sword fight with the ringleader of a midget prostitution ring was all a blur. But I do know Peter rendered a pretty cool 1932 Auburn TWELVE Boattail Speedster.

Auburn TWELVE Boattail Speedster - 1932

 Aside from sucking up to the boss and geeking out over engine specs, just like a bad wedding singer, Peter is a good sport and takes requests. Someone wanted him to build a 2015 Dodge Viper GTS Coupe and, by golly, he answered the call of duty!

Dodge Viper GTS - 2015

Synonymous with failure but chock full of period style is this 1958 Edsel Bermuda wagon. I'm not the only one Peter sucks up to as, with this render, he shows a little love for Ralph Savelberg and Misterzumbi. Now that's sweet!

Edsel 1958 Bermuda Wagon

Once again Peter proves to be a good sport, you ask and you shall recieve, as evidenced by this 2015 Ford Mustang. You all should try it sometime. Ask for a render, see what he comes up with. Its better than the creepy balloon clown at the park. You ask for a giraffe balloon animal and instead you get a pink sword.

Ford 2015 Mustang S550

Knowing all about creepy pink swords, its a wonder I function at all. Back in the day, I built a 1953 Chevrolet Bel Air Hardtop Coupe Police Cruiser and Peter renders this Lino classic nicely here.

Chevrolet Bel Air Hardtop Police Cruiser - 1953 (Linotopia)

Going down his own path, Peter reminds us of America's long lost past with this classy white 1937 LaSalle custom speedster.

LaSalle 1937 Custom Speedster - (by Hollywood Coachworks under Frank Kurtis)

Another classy blast from America's past is this 1953 Kaiser Golden Dragon Hardtop, which sported real gold plating. He tells us Kaiser later became AMC. Wait...this later became the AMC Pacer?! What the hell were they thinking?!

Kaiser Golden Dragon Hardtop 1953

Next on the Peter slab he renders a 1931 Marmon SIXTEEN Roadster hot rod conversion by 'Hot Rod Garage' of Oklahoma. Wait, never mind that, you mean to say Kaiser later became AMC, which is responsible for such bombs as the Marlin and the Gremlin?! Dude, that blows my freakin' mind!

Marmon SIXTEEN  Roadster - 1931 (Hot Rod Garage of Oklahoma)

What has three eyes and a helicopter engine? The Tucker 48 Torpedo, another bit of US automotive history that went belly up in spite of all their best efforts. Next Peter will tell us that Tucker closed shop to later become Saturn motors or something.

Tucker Torpedo - 1948

Another sad reminder that great automotive companies don't always survive is this 1449 Hudson Commodore Eight. Hudson later closed down to become the makers of Tidy-Bowl toilet cleaner. Probably.

Hudson Commodore Eight - 1949

One of the advantages to not picking up an actual LEGO brick in years and instead rendering everything you do in LDD is you can build a 1936 Cord 810 Phaeton in what was called Curry color back in the day. Tasty!

Cord 810 Phaeton - 1936

During the Great Depression, Americans struggled to make ends meet, but alas they still found the dough to design some of the most extraordinary cars to date. Among them was the1933 Duesenberg SJ Arlington Torpedo Sedan, known as 'Twenty Grand'.

Duesenberg Rollston SJ Arlington Torpedo Sedan - 1933 - 'Twenty Grand'

Now twenty grand just might get you a prostitute that used to be (or still is) a dude or a used Toyota. Or maybe the original mint in box LEGO Hobby series 394 Harley-Davidson 1000cc Police Motorcycle set from the mid 70's. The mind reels with how to best invest the money. Or just recreate it yourself as Peter did here.

Lego Hobby Set #394 Harley Davidson 1000cc

Is that all of Peter's? I think so. Thank God! Now I can get on with the rest of the roundup with ease…or…um…damn it! Taking a page from the book of Peter is Tom Netherton who, not quite sure how these monthly challenges work, decided to dump every American car he's ever built starting with this '46 Dodge Power Wagon.

1946 Dodge Power Wagon

Next on the Tom slab is the 1956 Ford F-100. Tom assures us that no American challenge would be complete without it. Its just as American as the Statue of Liberty (built by the French) and french fries (the french, having nothing to do with that, apparently).

1956 Ford F-100

Perfect for slow moving police chases is the Ford Bronco. Now that's something you don't see anymore. Slow moving police chases. Oh, that and the Ford Bronco. Now they're just called SUVs.

Ford Bronco

Next Tom tells us that the 1969 Camaro SS is American muscle at its finest. Oh I don't know, I'm rather partial to the Pinto. Explosive action abounds!

1969 Chevy Camaro SS

A bit of overlap here, but Tom also builds a chopped Merc, this one with a flaming paint job.

1951 Mercury Chopped Top

You'd think an advantage to using LDD is the infinite amount of "pieces" you can have access to. Tom likes to use a limited selection as evidenced by this rather blocky 68' Dodge Charger, the year before the General Lee made the charger famous.

1968 Dodge Charger

Next Tom pounds out the quintessentially American Jeep CJ. I recall watching a 60 Minutes bit about the Jeep CJ easily tipping over when making a sharp turn or just sitting in the driveway.

Jeep CJ

Wait, now he's not even trying! This boxy blue sedan is not a Lincoln Continental or even an Aries K. Its  what he calls a 1965 Ford Mustang. Yeah, not to be that guy, but in comparing this to the real Mustang, looks like Tom needs to make better use of the LDD vast parts selection.

1965 Ford Mustang

Using almost the same parts selection, Tom renders the 1976 Cadillac Eldorado, which was the pinnacle of mid-70's drug dealin', ho' peddlin', fur coat wearing, coke snortin', breaking a pool stick over some sucka fool's head luxury.

1976 Cadillac Eldorado

Or you can just do all of the above in a 1969 Chevy C10 Camper Special for all I care. Whatever floats your boat. I stopped caring like six entries ago. Bring on the milfs in yoga pants!

1969 Chevy C10 Camper Special

Is that all of Tom's entries? No there's like three more. Lets persevere through them, shall we? Get a load of this Chevy Bel Air.

Chevy Bel Air

Not to be outdone by another Chevy Bel Air convertible, which is exactly the same as the previous Bel Air 'cept without a roof.

Chevy Bel Air Convertible

And finally here is a 1932 Ford Coupe. Insert your own prostitute who used to be a dude, tipping over in the driveway, breaking a pool stick over some sucker's head jokes here.

1932 Ford Coupe

Cripes! OK, onward and upward! Ralph Savelsberg has been doing a series of movie cars lately and first up is the star from Vanishing Point, a benign looking white Dodge Challenger that has a super-charged monster under the hood.

Vanishing Point Challenger (4)

Another creation of Ralph is a relatively unassuming yellow Camaro that also has a monster under the hood, as well as under the trunk lid, side doors, fenders, and roof. The whole thing transforms into Bumble Bee. Its a feat of engineering, is what it is. More cars should do this in real life. Somebody get on that!

Bumblebee (3)

I've met Firstinfantry at BrickCon and if anyone owns a gun rack, its that guy! He renders us a '77 Ford LTD for the volunteer fire department. Gun rack not included.

1977 Ford LTD

Next he renders a '72 AMC Matador as a Sheriff's car. The gun rack is probably included as well as donut holders in the doors and 70's era nudey magazines in the glove box. No one shaved anything back then.

1972 AMC Matador

Speaking of service vehicles, Lino Martins builds a Vanbulance. Being an American, I know we have so many of these, you can't throw a 70's era nudey magazine without hitting a Vanbulance. Actually they never existed. The original was a Monogram model kit designed by Tom Daniel in 1974 and, as far as I know, was never made into an actual car.


Well known for chromed out trucks…and sometimes bikes, Dennis Glaasker graces us with this early 2000's Road King Classic custom bagger Harley Davidson in snowy white. Cuz an all-American challenge just isn't complete without a Harley. And also references to 70's era nudey mags.

Harley Davidson Road King 'White Noise'

Sometimes these jokes just write themselves. Sir Manperson tells us…not much else say 'MURICA than a Rat-Rod flatbed truck with unhealthily placed exhausts and the visibility rate of blindness. Truer words could not have been spoken! Thanks for the easy copy/paste option, Sir Man.

Flatbed Rat Rod - rear

Is that all of them? Holy crap, it is! Over all, that was a pretty good round up, I think. I got a little tuckered out there for a bit, and as a result, distracted by milfs in yoga pants, but I think it went well. We learned that you really can get jiggy with a potted plant, spiders really can lay eggs in your ballsack, the Ford Bronco is perfect for slowly outrunning the cops after a double homicide and all police cars in the 70's came equipped with donut holders and nudey mags. This is all vitally important information for your next, tea party, prison riot, or job interview. Besides a slew of your ignorant unrelated comments about Canadian meds and pyramid schemes, what does the future hold for this blog? Well, it turns out next month is our ever popular birthday challenge, a good excuse to build anything from previous challenges throughout the year or even LUGNuts history. The challenge is called LUGNuts Turns 7…or 49 in Dog Years! We've had a slew of birthday doozies entered so far, so what will the rest of the month bring? I guess you'll have to tune in again next month, same bat-time, same bat-channel, to see for yourself. Until next time, lets see some yoga pants!

1 comment:

Sir.Manperson!? said...

Another great round up! Some vary nice creations, and some new shiny faces here and there. Looking forward to the 7th birthday one...

Oh, and if it makes life easier for you,Lino, just call me Sam.