Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Exclusive Edition…Roundup

If given the means, people are willing to pay extra for luxury, opulence and exclusivity. Car makers know this. For most, a vehicle is merely a means of getting from point A to point B and for these folks, a Yaris or a Corolla will do just fine. But for others, driving is a lifestyle, a statement, and their choice of vehicle is handled with reverence. For these folks, the Ford F-150 Harley Davidson Edition, The Eddie Bauer Edition Ford Explorer, or the 2009 Mercedes-Benz SL 63 AMG Silver Arrow Edition just may be what it takes to tickle their fancy. Which is why we came up with this build challenge called Exclusive Edition. Yes, it was a build challenge so exclusive, that not many people participated. Clearly the rest were out playing Pokemon Go, cuz why else would somebody not get in on this action? Those that did participate, clearly these are men who have never known the intimate touch of a Squirtle. I've dated squirtles before and it means always having to wash the sheets. Wait, are we talking about the same thing? Anyway, lets get to the challenge and see how we scored!

Johnni D tells us that you can make your car exclusive by dropping your car at Johnni Striping &Co to get some rally stripes to make your car look faster. This exclusivity assumes that no one else will ever patron the fictitious fledgling company, thus making your car as rare as a high level Charmander.

Johnni Striping & Co

Admittedly, JohnniD has a rather neat thing going here as evidenced by this 1956 Chevrolet Bel Air Nomad Hot Rod in exclusive cartoon style. Check out his photo stream for more chibi cartoon car goodness.

1956 Chevrolet Bel Air Nomad Station Wagon

John Marshmallow chimes in early with something called "GTV-86". This car has been modified significantly into a drag rod, with a monster V-8 in the front, some big side exhausts and monster rear tires, as well as a long wheelie bar at the back.

Sam's GT86 TRD Edition Drag Rod "GTV-86"

His second entry called "Blue.Bullet" is very similar to his first GTV-86 in many ways…so many ways that I can't decipher between the two other than color.

John's 2015 Subaru BRZ Series.Blue Drag Rod "Blue.Bullet"

The human marshmallow calls it his third pair but it only seems to be his second pair. (but who's counting, right?!) Anyway, its a black 1990 Mercedes-Bens 190E Evolution II 2.5-16 Cosworth and the competing BMW E30 M3 Evo II. Then we don't hear from the usually prolific youngin again this challenge as he is likely in search of the elusive Pikachu.

1990 Mercedes-Benz 190E Evolution II 2.5-16 Cosworth

E30 M3 Version 2

Clearly not knowing or caring about the difference between a Magikarp and a Drowzee is Ralph Savelsberg. Ralph is just too sensible for such frivolous nonsense. Instead he has built something from the other nerd culture, the flying Ford Anglia from Harry Potter.
Harry Potter Ford Anglia

Let me help differentiate between the two. A Magikarp is a flopping fish most humorously photographed in a frying pan while a Drowzee is a sleepy looking anteater thing most humorously photographed in front of a weed shop. Just Google it, you weirdo! Anyway, here's Ralph's exclusive Volkswagen Golf R32 in rare red.

Volkswagen Golf Mk.5 R32

If there is one builder who has never locked horns with a temperamental Tauros it is Peter Blackert. One: Because Tauros is a North American exclusive Pokemon and Peter is Australian and two: he's just too busy rendering cars or hunting crocodiles or whatever the hell else they do in Australia. Here's a 2016 Ferrari F12 TdF Berlinetta and its F140 FC V12 Engine.

Ferrari F12 TdF (2016) + UCS Tipo F140 FC V12 Engine

Want to piss off Enzo Ferrari? Then order yourself one of the very limited number of 50th anniversary Ford 2016 GT 'LeMans Winner Edition'. It'll boil his Italian blood like an al dente linguini. He'll know why.

Ford GT LeMans Winner Edition (2016)

While you're at it, you can piss off Enzo Ferrari again with this 1972 Lancia Fulvia Coupe 1.3 S Monte Carlo. Even I don't know why this car would piss him off. It just sounded hilarious to start this entry off that way. Plus anything to piss off your rivals is wholeheartedly worth doing.

Lancia Fulvia Coupe 1.3 S Monte Carlo

I'm talking to you, ClownVomit69, if that's your real name! You think you can rule the PokeGym in our neighborhood with your fat, stupid Snorlax? Someday I will punch you in your insolent 11-year-old face, then who will rule the world? Huh? Anyway, here's a 1989 Porsche 911 Speedster.

Porsche 911 G Speedster (1989)

Sometimes, Swedes and Italians mate and form…absolutely no one notable that you would know. Holy crap, did Google just ruin my joke? I think it did! Who the hell is Marcus Birro? Not a god damned clue! Anyway, Swedes and Italians also mated to form the '78-'80 Volvo 262C Bertone Coupe.

Volvo 262C Bertone Coupe

Cripes, there isn't even a well-known Swedish-Italian celebrity, not even a porn star? Jonni Fidel? Doesn't ring a bell. Veronica Maggio? Not a clue. Michael Nyqvist? Nope! That joke flatlined like Prince in an elevator. What? Too soon? Here's a Ford 1986 Capri 280 Brooklands.

Ford Capri MkIII - 280 Brooklands

Peter's own joke even went better than mine and took a friendly stab at me to boot. He asks: What would a 21st century urban hipster doofus drive? A FIAT 500 of course! Yep, that's the car I drive. But even I wasn't daft enough to shell out nearly three times more for the FIAT Abarth 695 Tributo Ferrari. Apparently this is owned by all of 30 people in Australia.

FIAT 500 Abarth 695 Tributo Ferrari

Sometimes even exclusivity has exclusivity. Mercedes and McLaren merge their substantial efforts to create this super-exclusive 2009 Mercedes-McLaren SLR Stirling Moss Edition. Peter also portrays a UCS 5.4 Litre Supercharged V8 Engine to go with it.

Mercedes-Mclaren SLR Stirling Moss Edition

Peter tells us that Australia is a tribal land with Ford and Holden constantly trying to outdo each other in what I can only imagine to be a Mad Max style battle to the death. Then there were-something, something-plastic panels-something laser cut- something- 2004 HSV Coupé4.

HSV Coupe4 (2004)

Something-something-something-something-something-something-something-something-something-something-something-something…1995 DC2 Integra Type-R.

Honda Integra Type-R (DC2 - 1995)

Sorry, I totally got lazy there.I'll work harder with this one. If you have American sensibilities for big, luxurious gas guzzlers but live in Europe, then you'll have to settle for the 1976 Citroen CX Prestige. It has the greatest rear leg room in its class for stuff like…yunno…sitting.

Citroen CX Prestige ( 1976)

Peter has built or rendered so many cars that he even renders cars he doesn't like as evidenced by this Type 907Alfa Romeo 33 Savali. Lots of plastic and yellow makes this an uninspired exclusive.

Alfa Romeo 33 Savali (Typ 907)

More to Peter's liking is this gray and black 2016 BMW F82 M4 GTS Coupe that comes with a UCS S55 Inline Six Engine. Only 700 of these will be built in real life making this M4 about as rare as an Electrobuzz.

BMW M4 GTS (F82 - 2016) + UCS BMW S55 3.0 Litre Turbocharged Inline Six Engine

Yes, I've come back to Pokemon jokes! That's what happens when Peter's entries are as plentiful as a low level Weedle. What the hell is with those things, anyway? Am I right, people? My bathroom is infested with them. Anyway, here's a pretty 1991 Nissan Pike Factory Figaro Fixed-Profile Convertible.

Nissan Figaro (Pike Factory - 1991)

Peter tells us that many of the exclusive 2000 Evo VI Zero Fighter Editions have met with a fiery end as lots of speed and grip attracts untalented douchebags behind the wheel. Fitting, considering many of the Japanese zeroes they were named after also met with a fiery end but for entirely different reasons. What? Too soon?

Mitsubishi Lancer EVO VI - Zero Fighter Edition

If there was an award for coolest doors, the exclusive 1995 Toyota Sera Amlux Coupe would take the cake…or award as these unique doors open like beetle wings. The all glass canopy was not cheap and the 21 ultra-exclusives were made in dark green over beige two-tone. Nice!

Toyota SERA Amlux

Peter tells us that at the end, when everything is turning to shit, you'll give pretty much anything a go. That holds true. Whether it be Hot Pockets, crystal meth and a leather clown suit, or this MG ZT-T 260 Tourer, desperation makes for interesting predicaments.

MG ZT-T Tourer

Not as desperate but twice as interesting is this 2011 Aston Martin One-77 Supercar. Only 77 of these beauties were made, so if you wanna get your greasy mitts all over one of them it'll set you back well over 1 million British pounds.

Aston Martin One-77 Coupe

Membership has its privileges. If you were one of the very few Americans to have made it to outer space in the heyday of the space age you could lease a 1969 Chevrolet C3 Corvette 'Astrovette' for a meager 1$ a year. Plaque with your name and mission role also included. I wonder what cosmonauts of the same era had?

Chevrolet Corvette C3 1969 - 'Astrovette'

Probably a radish and a copy of Tolstoy's War and Peace. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. No, wait, that was A Tale of Two Cities. Never mind. Anyway, here's a 2015 Fisker-Galpin Ford Mustang Rocket Speedster.

Galpin-Fisker Ford Mustang Rocket Speedster (2015)

Peter tells us that the 1978 Dodge Aspen Super Coupe was a half-decent car in an era of half-baked rubbish. I prefer to sauté my rubbish and let it simmer over a low heat for 20 minutes to a half hour. Cooking times may vary depending on altitude.

Dodge Aspen Super Coupe (1978)

Its been awhile since I laid into a Pokemon joke. Let's see, what to I have stored in the old noggin? I find that catching Pokemon to be far better than anything you can catch on Tinder. OK, that was a totally hilarious joke that probably went over most of your heads! Here's a 1974 Renault 17 Gordini Coupe.

Renault 17 Gordini (1974)

Keeping the pace as quickly as a high powered Jynx disappears from sight long before you can capture it is this 1993 Cadillac Allanté Indianapolis Pace Car. Only three were specially rigged as Indianapolis Pace cars.

Cadillac Allanté Indianapolis Pace Car (1993)

In the late 60's cramming a big engine into a compact car was all the rage as evidenced by this 1969 AMC AMX Super Stock. They were called Pony Cars. This one was so small it had to be a two seater.

American Motors Corporation AMX Super Stock - 1969

Speaking of small, Peter's final entry is a 2009 Mini John Cooper Works. What makes it exclusive from all the other Minis you see out there? Apparently a new engine, stripes and a special paint scheme.

New Mini MkII John Cooper Works

Sacre-Blue! Lino Martins goes really exclusive with this French built 1929 Majestic Motorcycle in French racing blue. So what's in my Pokedex? Well, I'm only a level 14 but of the 59 unique Pokemon, I can boast a Pikachu, a Lickitung, A Vaporeen and a Flareon.

1929 Majestic Motorcycle

Emannuel Spencer Iskandar goes with the exclusive Lancia Thema that apparently is a squarish car that has a Ferrari V8 wedged into it. Square. Wedged. Um...That's all I got.

Lancia Thema 8.32

A builder named no7erics is apparently not seven Erics, but probably one huge guy the size of seven Erics. Anyway, he pulls off no small feat with this render of a '64 Shelby Daytona Coupe.

Shelby Daytona Coupe

Is that all of them? I think it is. That concludes our exclusive roundup strife with bad Pokemon Go jokes and not much else. That's how it goes sometimes. Maybe next time will be different. Speaking of next time, we have a cool challenge going on this month called Saturday Morning Show n' Shine. This would be your chance to come up with some of your coolest rides ever in preps for some LEGO conventions coming up including BrickCon, Steam, BrickWorld, and a slew of other worthy conventions I'll surely never make it to. But you can. So tune in next time same bat time, same bat channel to see how we pull it off. In the meantime…if you find a lure down a shady ally in the dumpster behind Krispy Kreme…in the words of the great Admiral Ackbar, its a trap. Don't go to it. That's my Pokemon safety tip for the day. That and watch where the hell you're going. If you go and get hit by a goddamned bus while chasing down a Pidgey…well, that's just evolution working itself out. No Pidgey is worth it. But a Machamp, on the other hand, go nuts! See ya next time.

1 comment:

Jessi Lashakmitis said...

Great looking cars! Thanks for the share, love reading your blog.