Monday, July 21, 2014

Rise, Agent Janus…Roundup

We all die alone and afraid in our underwear. And when you go, you can take solace in knowing that I'm going be alright. You see, I got this great new job… Wait, wait, WAIT! Lino, you dumb twit, you've used that stupid condescending joke last time you got a job. Come up with some original material, will ya?! Um...Yes, but, you see, it all comes full circle. I got a new job doing pretty much the same thing but specializing in working with the most difficult students…which is what I started with doing the last job. But now I have my own office. Yes, at some point or another all the students who fail out have to see me. Think the misfits from the Breakfast Club, add another 3000 or so and that is my population. Its like being an assistant principal, except without the receded hairline. Shut up, Tim! Anyway, this challenge called Rise, Agent Janus! comes full circle as well. This is our third Agent Janus adventure and it couldn't have come at a better time, what with the new Ultra Agents sets out. How'd I do at leading this ragtag bunch of misfits? Well…not so good. The other two Janus challenges were among the most popular challenges of all time. This one…(crickets chirping. chirping. chirping…)

Oh here's one by our resident  physicist Ralph Savelsberg. Its James Bond's DB5. Not quite Agent Janus, but with these slim pickings I'll take it. Heck, I'd even take his new Pussy Wagon and call it some secret agent vehicle if he entered it. That's how desperate I am.

James Bond Aston Martin DB5 (2)

Speaking of desperate, Sir Manperson pounds out a Prowler Minaccia. Like my eyebrows, the front is all evil and pointy, thus making it secret agent-y somehow. Sir Man falls us there would be more secret agent goodness to come but none doing. That seems to be the way of Sir Manperson.

Prowler Minaccia

Loek1990 sort of renders us a Jaguar XFR-S and tells us it has all kinds of secret agent gadgets but he doesn't quite explain what they are. That's cuz they're so secret that if he falls ya, he's gonna have to kill ya…or something.

Jaguar XFR-Spy

Rolic enters a Koeningsegg CCXR that is so secret, the secret agent doesn't know its a secret and neither do we. It wasn't even a secret agent car to start with but I sort of coaxed him to enter it here. By this point, I would have also accepted an ice cream truck, a Ford Fiesta or a stick of butter.

Koenigsegg CCXR

Lastly, Lino Martins graces us with some real Agent Janus action for once, a 2025 Mercedes-Benz Ener-G Force with truly a slew of secret agent gadgets, including an arsenal big enough to take down a small country and a concept bike that launches out the side. I'm still pretty keen on the stick of butter idea.

2025 Mercedes-Benz Ener-G Force

That's it? That's it! Five entries, one of the least populous challenges of all time. What has happened to our little car club? That's OK. Maybe the next challenge called Generation Gap will bring in more entries, and why not? Its all about cars, trucks, and bikes that have once been classic, but have also have had a modern resurgence. The Ford Mustang, the VW Bug, and the Dodge Charger are all worthy entries in a challenge just ripe for buddy team ups! Yes, old and young alike can set our differences aside and work together toward a common goal for once. That's right, get ON my lawn, Justin Bieber, and in doing so, we can discover who we  really are. Who are we, anyway? (Cue the Breakfast Club theme music) You see us as you want to see us…in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is in each of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case…a princess…and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

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