Plain Jane Roundup

I've only been a doggy daddy for a couple months now but I think I have this pet ownership thing down pat. Food goes in the sharp end, poop comes out the stinky end...and never the other way around. That's pretty much it. I've done so well at this that I've received my first ever Father's Day card...from my dog. It has a crazy looking dog on the front with aluminum foil on her head and inside it says "thank you for protecting me from the monsters under the bed, Daddy." Finally, a card that knows this monster protection stuff is serious business...and the helmet of aluminum foil is crucial. Knowing full well my fathering skills only goes so far without caffeine, she also got me a bag of coffee...uh, presumably with her own money. Was it Three-peckered Billy Goat coffee? No, but something equally good from the same makers...Wicked Wolf Gourmet coffee, which features a snarling wolf on the bag. Appropriate from a dog, I'd think. So brew yourself a cup of Wicked Wolf and sit back and see how we did in the first ever two part, two month challenge we call Plain Jane...all about run down plain old automobiles and how we'll customize the ever lovin' bejesus outta them later.

Hey, I had to segue from my silly opener into the build challenge somehow, right? Anyway, first on the Plain Jane slab takes the cake for the weirdest entry yet, Rolic and his...uh...Mercedes Benz Popemobile. How is he ever gonna customize this already custom ride? No clue! But I hope he commits the ultimate sacrilege while doing so. Cuz, you know, this roundup wouldn't be right without sacrilege!



Next jmaokoen takes a tricked out Austin Healey 3000 and well...presents it as such. Its not particularly plain or run down, in fact its pretty pristine so it makes you wonder if he didn't follow the directions...or he has something completely brilliant planned. This entry raises more questions than answers so we'll just have to wait and see how it all turns out.



Jonathan Derksen asked for a random assignment and got the 1969 El Camino. He pulls through and its looking mighty plain and mighty...white. As is, its like a loaf of Wonder Bread...plain, dull, and uninspiring. But this dull loaf has plenty of potential to become focaccia bread. In fact, the observant viewer may see that he had already tricked out this dull loaf to the nines! But we'll talk about that next month.



Later in the challenge Jonathan chimes in with his own assignment, a Fiat X1/9. Its red and black and fully functioning with opening doors and even flip up headlights. its rather nice as is so it makes you wonder just what does he have up his sleeve for next month. If his first customized entry is any indicator, this one is gonna be out of this world!



Forget speed, forget horsepower...forget the engine altogether! TechnicFenix13 knows that pedal power is where it's at with his entry...a bicycle. Just how is he going to customize this thing? Flames on the fender? Banana seat? Ape hanger bars? Those frilly tassel thingies on the handle bars? I don't know...but one this is for sure, it won't have a photo studio backdrop.



I hope that Wicked Wolf coffee is going down easy. Are you sitting comfortable? Do you have some cheese and crackers maybe? Cuz lego911 is about to start his usual long tirade of multiple entries, the first being the '57 Chevy 210. Its looking pretty stellar as stock so I can only imagine what he has planned for this classic. Maybe he'll make it a jumpin' lowrider!



Next Peter clocks in with a rather plain Alfa Romeo 1750 GTV Coupe in white. The mind reels with anticipation over how this can be customized...perhaps a thumpin' stereo and some douche bag rims are in order. I just have no clue as to his master plan!



Who likes the Oldsmobile 1956 Eighty-Eight Holiday Hardtop Coupe? I do. Its already looking pretty stellar in its red and white color scheme so will customizing this bad boy yield a mobile donut shop like on Monster Garage? Or maybe its more of a rolling ball pit?



This challenge yields more questions than answers and no less puzzling is what Peter will do with this Peugeot 205 GTI Hatch. I'm wishing for either a swamp boat or a lunar rover.



Everyone knows one Alfa Romeo isn't enough in a build challenge so Peter clocks in yet again but this time with an Alfa Romeo 105 Series 2000 GTV. Its all red and rather plain, yet stylish...like a well coiffed haircut.



Lastly Peter goes big, then goes home with this 2012 Ford Global Ranger Wildtrack Pickup in bright orange. Its already fully loaded so what is he gonna do to trick this one out? Maybe chop the roof and give it western style cattle horns on the hood.



This next entry from Bricksonwheels is a bit of an anomaly. The title on the door says Plain Jane but the truck customizer enters one of his most tricked out, badass custom trucks to date called "The Dragon". Photoshop skills and Magic card graphics makes this one of the more custom LEGO rides of all time so what does he have planned for his custom entry then? My hunch says more of the same.



Dylan Denton apparently has a plan for this poor man's Ferrari and teenage dream, the 1994 Toyota MR-2. It has fully functioning doors and popup headlights so what can he do to customize this ride? Might I suggest making it a circus inspired ice cream delivery car?



Alright, maybe that wasn't a good idea, but Lino Martins has plans for this rusted out 1960 Mercury Colony Park wagon. You need a tetanus shot just to get anywhere near this thing so even setting this heap on fire would be a good upgrade. Can he bring this crap bucket back from the dead? Magic 8-ball says "outcome is uncertain".



Raphy has a plan...actually two plans. One is a 1983 GMC Vandura in all its plain white Wonder Bread loaf looking glory. Its as uninspired as the decade that produced it. So what's he gonna do with it? Perhaps an A-team color scheme is in order!



Next Raphy punches the clock with yet another plain white van, but this time a 1980 Dodge Tradesman. Its sort of...blah. Obviously the young man has gone van crazy so what will next month yield? A wrestling ring? A hot dog stand? A dogsled?



Lastly, Tim Inman is a guy well known for going big, then going home. This is no exception as he sends us off with this large GMC Sierra 3500 HD. Its already pretty tricked out so what will next month bring? Again, this is a build challenge with more questions than answers.



We've had all the best and brightest eggheads science had to offer working hard with their calculators and probability formulas all trying to calculate exactly how many entries we'll have this time. Some said more than four, some said seven...some said a lot of hoopla about quantum mechanics, but even weird science couldn't predict there would be exactly 17 at the time of this writing. Again, this challenge offered more questions than answers. Which brings us to next month's challenge called From Mild To Wild...all about taking these Plain Jane creations and customizing or restoring the ever lovin' bejesus outta them. Maybe all our questions will be answered then. This roundup started with what will hope to be the ultimate sacrilege and ended with a big heap of GMC. This is how all challenges should go. Anyway, stay tuned next month at the same bat-time, same bat channel to answer all these crazy-ass questions. But for now, aluminum foil on your head will keep the monsters at bay. trust me on this. Later, dudes.