This month's build challenge was called Take It To The Next Level...all about cars, trucks, and bikes from video games. There's a lot to work with here and as everybody loves video games this one was slotted to become the best challenge in the history of the world ever. But in reality...not so much. It was one of our most underpopulated challenges in our long history. I can presume the reason, ironically, is everybody was out playing video games or something. That's OK, I've been playing a video game of sorts. Rocksmith 2014. Its helping me learn guitar and while I still suck at it, I'm making pretty good strives. I have just about built up the calluses on my fingers so my countdown to snorting coke off the ass of a prostitute like a rock star can be significantly shortened. So lets get this short round up over with so I can get back to finally nailing down Blitzkrieg Bop, shall we?
Even when the party is down to a dull roar you can always count on Ralph to bring the chips and the dip. And by chips and dip I mean Starsky and Hutch. But wait, you might say. Sure they're great oldschool TV stars but what do they have to do with video games? Turns out there is a game starring the dynamic duo of the pork chop sideburns.
And speaking of dynamic duo, Angelina Jolie lost hers recently. The world gave a collective sigh when she announced her double mastectomy but it was for preventive measures so probably a good thing. Anyway, Ralph built her in her awesome booby-havin' glory and also her Land Rover from the Tomb Raider game.
Peter Blackert usually brings the entire party with booze and strippers and also a bouncy house included, but this time he has brought along a very demure wine and cheese for a quiet little get together. The wine being this Mercedes AMG Vision Gran Turismo from GT6.
And the cheese is of the Italian variety with this tangy Lancia Delta Integrale Rally car in Martini livery from 'SEGA Rally' and 'SEGA Rally 2' arcade games. This was appreciated by everyone who participated in the challenge as we're all old farts who remember SEGA Rally. Where are all the whooper-snappers, anyway?
Showing our age, Nathan Proudlove and I bring a little heavy metal music to this party in the form of two entries from the game Brutal Legend. This entry is The Deuce or "The Druid Plow" and it marks Nathan's first car in over a year and a half so we were all pretty thrilled.
And Lino Martins contributes the Brutal Legend Tour Bus. You see, when it comes to Heavy Metal you can never have enough skulls, flames, and gnarly exhaust pipes. The Tour Bus delivers all three in spades. I'm digging the two different scale Eddie Riggs figures. Mullets required.
And finally Tim Inman delivers the bloody goods in his gatling gun havin' Meat Wagon from Twisted Metal. I was hoping someone would build from Twisted Metal. In fact, it was the whole reason I created the challenge. Now I can die happy while choking on my own vomit...
Is what I would say if I were an actual rock star. But I'm not. It would be really rock and roll to die choking on someone else's vomit like that dude from Spinal Tap. But considering I don't usually stay up late, I'm too deathly afraid to throw a TV into a pool, and I'm not so much into cocaine and prostitutes, my chances of truly becoming a rock star are pretty nil. Probably for the best, really. Anyway, that brings us to the end of this all-admin build challenge. What's in store for next month? Turns out its a little challenge we like to call Diorama-Rama...all about cars, trucks, and bikes, within a diorama setting. See, dioramas aren't just for toy dinosaurs anymore...unless, of course, you make it that way. Alrighty, now I shall get back to unlocking the mysteries of the riff to Blitzkrieg Bop. Joey Ramone, you were a punk rock genius. Probably not so much a math genius. Also you were probably no good at picking stocks, identifying birds, gardening, reading, writing, driving, balancing your checkbook, or Scrabble. But when it comes to punk rock and choking on your own vomit, you were the best. You'll be missed.
